Thread: Da Best Guide to be Da Best Player! By Me! Livskis!

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  1. #1
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    Aug 2010
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    Da Best Guide to be Da Best Player! By Me! Livskis!

    hello my frands! this is a guide by me! Livskis! my frands! this guide will help you become a so sex! so amaze! heroes of newark player like me! Livskis! to become so sex! so amaze! you must remember a few things!


    only by accepting this will you become a player of amaze quality! the first step to becoming an amaze player is to abandon your thinking that hon is a team game (or sport! teehee!)

    so now that we understand that heroes of newark is not a team game, let us go over a few things you should always keep in mind! my frands! i will now list the laws of heroes of newark! these laws are absolute for the unenlightened, casual player, but that is why i am here to teach you my frands!

    1. if you attempt to save your teammate(s), they will live and you will die.

    to avoid this predicament, you must never ever ever help your teammate(s)! doing this guarantees maximum survivability! after all, dying makes you look bad and the most important thing in heroes of newark is to look good! in addition, if your teammate(s) need help, they were doing something wrong in the first place!

    2. if you participate in a teamfight, you will die and your teammates will live! furthermore they will take all your kills!

    to combat this, you must maintain a safe distance to ensure maximum survivability! if you have some kind of nuking ability, make sure you use it at the end of the fight where you can obtain optimal killing power! after all, why should you pass kills along to this fabled "carry" player if he, she, or they wouldn't think twice about taking the kill and leaving you to die! remember! always look out for #1! that's you my frand!

    3. if you attempt to gank with your teammate(s), they will get the kill and escape and leave you to die.

    to overcome this infuriating obstacle, you must let your teammate go first! let your teammate initiate and then you finish off the target! if they refuse to go first, you refuse to initiate if you happen across the opposing team! if you initiate, your teammate(s) will ks you! if you can't get the kill then why should you allow them to take it? you must never ever feel remorse my frands! for your teammate will steal your kill and leave you to die if the opportunity presents itself! take initiative and claim what is rightfully yours!

    if you adhere to this guide, you will notice that your score per game will increase by no less than 150%. your teammates will be jealous, your opponents will rage, and you, the most important person of all, will bask in your 15-0-0 score. i hope this guide helps you my frands! good luck!

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Thrill View Post
    I get paid salary to cast HoN, and its way more than any "pro" player is currently making
    Quote Originally Posted by Lethe View Post
    I estimate I have an IQ between 120 and 130, but I've never taken a professionally administrated test. Nor do I intend to

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