Yungle

**dsg** · 09-09-2010, 10:07 PM

this is a guide to the yungle. what is the yungle? the yungle is a place full of gold that you haven`t got yet. why haven't you got the yungle gold yet? maybe you are retarded. i dont know. heres how to though:

there are two yungles on newerth. i prefer the bottom one because it has plants and trees and some animals (cant kill the animals - possible bug?). there are monsters too but its not the part of the guide where i talk about them so forget about the monsters for now

remember the monsters i said? you kill them to get gold to buy items. some of the items you can buy are :Slayer: :MarkOfTheNovice:. on some heroes these are core items. i dont know which heroes. back to the jungle. here are the monsters you will face and the order you face them in is up to you but choose wisely

Ice Ogre
weak and stupid. use their stupidity against them and use flanking attacks - they take 1.7x damage from the sides and rear. immune to ice-type damage, so glacius will need a friend to step in for him.

Goatman King
has a powerful war stomp that stuns you and all of your friends. don't get close or this will show you a life of pain before it gives you a painful death. comes with a small goat that doesnt do anything

Skeleton King
many players fear this skeletal man for his prowess with a blade. this creep camp is often banned in competitive matches for the advantage he grants the team who controls him: two shitty skeletons.

Catman Champion
changes colors based on mode and mood. the blue kind is dangerous but the brown one is also dangerous. 4/5

Small Vagabonds
smaller than large vagabonds. green skin(?) knowledge of this creep camp is purely theoretical as no heroes have ever returned from their voyages there. scientists believe the camp encircles heroes, then picks off stragglers with what can only be described as 'a retarded poison that slows you when you most expect it'.

Big Vagabond
the alpha male of the vagabond thing. at one point, could turn players invisible and crash the game whenever they bought a flying courier. this was patched out due to complaints from various non-yunglers.

ebulas
a race of stupid yellow frog things long thought to be extinct, these things now live comfortably in the Lower Yungle, where the annual rainfall is sufficient to keep their skin moist. extremely poisonous - use only hand of money to dispose of these foul beast.

bug ants
possibly the hardest camp in all the yungle due to that blue one. you know the one im talking about. he applies the medicine to his warrior ants and they become very difficult to kill without the use of one or more hands of money. this camp is realistic because once there was an anthill in our backyard and even though i poured like a gallon of water on it the ants still bit me. i dont think they had ant medicine or if they did it was in tiny ant pills rather than being shot at them by the blue ant but they were still tough as nails. dsg verdict: dont do this camp unless you have no choice and even then perhaphs death is better

werethings
caught weredisease from the trees in the lorax and now must live the life of both man and werebeast. comes in three strengths: blue brown red
DONT **** WITH RED! the red ones have a special toggler ability that makes all their damage red and its SO MUCH. blue ones and brown ones are older and accept death.

Wild Haunters
don`t let the name fool: they have nothing to do with ghosts, so holy items will NOT afffect them. they have very well-developed, shapely legs and have a lot of money saved up somewhere inside of them. because of their wealth they are immune to the hand of money and therefore should be avoided forever. if your team tries to take on this beasts, remind them who's boss by breaking a single item and calling them 1 thing. this leaves you room to escalate so you don't have to waste time in futile battle with the wild haunters while your hand of money atrophies

Snotters
large family of sentient hash browns. religion based around neverending search for 'maliken', who it is believed is capable of finishing the entire family's sewing for them (sources needed)

dragon
everyone thinks they know about dragons by now. but tell me this how much damage do they do? i dont know. this camp is too hard and should probably just be taken out because i bet if you look at the stats only 1% of people even ahve the physical power you need to take these menaces on

dragonmen
a retarded scientist successfully combined the least useful parts of the dragon with a human head to produce a species known to the scientific community as 'free money'. despite the name, nothing in this life is truly free

Sport Spitter
imagine what hell is. youre wrong: its sport spitter. i killed the snotters once and it was a BIG MISTAKE because the sport spitters took over and no one could kill them even when i came back 20 minutes later with power treads

engineers
saw this in the yungle only once and had to run as fast as my movespeed. not sure where it spawns but it has control of machines and fires a bullet for its attack. has a lot of health and shouts annoying things as it fights you to your death. for some reason your team gets mad when you can't kill this creep even though they never fought it before and wont help you with it. AVOID.

Yungle Etiquette
1)Other people do not go in the yungle unless they are CreepHelping you

if someone is in your yungle they are not your friend. someone who takes from your yungle is taking gold from your mouth that you need to get psr. that is like if i walked into your mailbox and tore up your paycheck, so that is what i do to people who go in my yungle. i also tell their children to close their eyes for a suprise then i punch the ugliest one. surprise. dont take my yungle.

2)if someone is creephelping you they get a creep helper tax, just like the real government

if i help you kill the goat man i get the little goat man. its that simple folks. if you dont pay the creep tax the creep helpers union goes to your ****ing yungle and seals it off with orangeward caution tape. pay the creep helper tax on time and wihout exception.

3)stack the yungle for your friends - get a smile as a reward

help the yungler at all times - he will smile at you and you will have a good relationship even if the game goes sour. if life gives you catmen, make catmanade

4)status updates boost morale

give your team updates on what creeps you kill. this makes sure your team knows you are working hard toward the psr everyone wants and will make them fight harder for your cause. they may even creep help you. there is probably a mod for this Just Killed Ice Ogre for 48 Gold. Keep Fighting! feel free to use this mod in your games but pros don't use mods - just w arning for ya.

5)the jungle is your lane
call for ganks if the creep is too power, or just fountain like you would against a real opponent. how can your team expect their carry to win for them if they won't gank for him? do not leave your lane either. this lane can easily net you two hundred gold per minute! when your lousy 60 gpm supports are complaining, remind them of this simple fact!

Items To Yungle With

this item increase your attack speed by some amount, which is important on heroes who attack. start with this to give you that yungle edge - but don't forget to buy other things such as

i know what you are going to say: why do you need boots to do the yungle. well do youk now what im going to say?: some creeps are too tough to do in one go, and you have to run to the healing well for some much needed rest. this boot item lets you go there faster and doesn't break the bank. if you really want to powergame the game... get strider. mondo movespeed for 300 gold? abuse this before they fix it.

very important. turns a guy to gold and gives triple the gold for the guy it kills, implying that creeps are already one-third gold. your team will be impress when you buy this item for its farming potential - watch your gpm increase faster than breaky cpk can rattle it off when this item shoots its golden beam.

i got my inspiration for the yungle from the real yungle as seen in 'man vs wild'. out there you ahve no supplies so you have to make your own. this item is like when bear grylls eats bugs to gain their protein - eating a gross grub won't heal you as much as killing a creep with this skull on your skull though! get this item A S A P so you don't have to eat trees full of bugs to regain your minerals and carbs.

stay hydrated. you can lose a litreo f water an hour out here in the yungle, and all the regular water tastes bad. if something hurts you while you're drinking this you spill the whole potion in disgust and that's it for that potion. so don't spill the potion.

why didn't your team buy this for you? men have debated this for centuries by yelling at their teams to buy one until it happens. further research is being performed by the SneyKing institute on making other, more powerful items appear by whining very loudly.

mana is the spiritual power a guy has. you lose faith by doing magic. hammerstorm loses almost all his faith in god just by throwing a hammer, and must use this potion until he can afford that other item.

packs a powerful punch that lets you punch powerful packs - red werebeasts are no problem with 3 sips of this thing. here's a trick for advanced players: drink all of this thing, then put it on the flying monkey you yelled for, send it to your waterfall to get more drink, then when i tcomes back repeat the whole thing! infinite stats. (thanks to notail for this great tip - improved my yungle per minute by 0.2!)

axe of the yungler
important item, especially on ranged heroes who need the damage bonus from this item to augment their poor base damage. its ability to instantly kill trees was added after balance wizard 'nome' saw a tree fall down in real life when chopped by an axe.

blocking shield
this shield blocks the attacks of your foes, but not all the time because you are clumsy. important against the snotters, who use gang tactics to overwhelm your defenses. have your team scout your yungle for gangs of snotters before buying this item.

Yungle Tactics
a tactic i like to use is to go clockwise. that way i don't forget what camps i did. another tactic some people find useful is to go counterclockwise. at a very high level you may be able to use your good judgment to pick which camp you kill, but it's never really been done, even at high levels - maybe when best dota player 'Lodo' gets into the spirit of things we can really see some interesting creep killing.

Conclusion
in conclusion the yungle is a good palce to get your farm and maybe learn a thing or two about life. i can't write a guide to life though - that is up to you to live for yourself