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Thread: Hero : Azgal , Banished Demon

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  1. #1
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    Hero : Azgal , Banished Demon ( reworked layout )

    Foreword

    I want to present to the community one of the concepts that I have been working on for a book that I'm trying to write.

    I haven't included numbers because those should be subject to change.

    Also, I am not fond of the DotA's suggestion archetype. I just hope I won't be stoned to death. The Latin word " lapidare" comes to mind.

    Before I start laying down the story, I must warn that is rather long. I tried to shorten it, but the hole lore behind the character made it hard for me to omit certain elements.

    Not being a native English speaker , I will ask you to forgive any possible mistakes and strange phrase structures. Hope there aren't that many.

    That being said, I hope you enjoy reading it.


    ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~



    Azgal

    Banished Demon





    ! Note !

    This drawing comes very close to what I've pictured him to look like.

    I am not the author of the drawing.

    All the rights are reserved for the author.
    I thank kindredconcepts.com for hosting the picture above.



    Background


    How are demons born ?

    T
    he lore is rather thin regarding this subject. What is known is that Evil materializes the new ranks of his army. We also know that they have their own society structure, based on casts.

    When a demon is created, it is called a Lesser One. In his chest beats only one heart. But as our knowledge is periodically proven wrong, in this matter we had to loose almost everything to learn.

    The demons don't have only one heart. They have five hearts, arranged in a pentagram. When they are lesser, only one heart beats. But it doesn't beat in order to keep them alive, but to strengthen their powers and equipment.

    If they prove themselves in battle, the Evil thrusts one of his arms inside their chests and starts another heart, giving them boons and more power.
    We, as humans, couldn't get to know so much about them, but we came to be acquainted with of the most powerful demons.

    Good and Evil fight in all universes, on all worlds. The number of battlefields is unknown.

    What we came to find if that only every 3 milleniums each side is allowed to lay siege over the gates of the other side. One millenium for greater beings embraces the hole history of our world and even more.

    Good has only seven generals, guards of the Sanctuary of Bliss, also called Strators. Each one is stronger than the previous one, all of them being arranged after the image of a triangle, guarding the Doors of the Reverie. What lays behind the doors is nameless.

    Why are they so important ? Because a greater demon, named as so after having all five hearts beating, that slays a Strator, evolves beyond Evil itself. It is how the leadership of darkness changes. A sixth heart appears in the center of the pentagram, uniting the already beating hearts.

    Azgal was the only demon capable of going up the ranks in only one millenium. He got his fifth heart on the eve of the sixty sixth cycle. A cycle representing six milleniums of greater beings.

    What we learned next is that both sides know an universal sin : pride.

    The demon couldn't wait another three milleniums for his chance. Although it was forbidden, he gathered his troops and forced the gates of Good.

    Loosing almost all his troops, he still forced his way to the Sanctuary. Not having even one troop beside him when entering the large room, he was left alone in front of the seven Strators.

    We next learned that Strators can be challenged to a duel, the other Strators being forced to not intervene. On the battlefield ...

    Azgal wagered all on the fact that this rule always binds the Strators. And that was how it was.

    He challenged the first Strator and their duel wouldn't end. The general kept playing with the young demon. But greater beings are too able to sin. And the general sinned. For a moment, just for a blink of an eye, he felt pride. That was all the demon needed. He managed to evade the lance, changing the sword in the other arm, cutting with a swift blow the hand of the Strator.

    In a flash, the head went down, the general being defeated under the amazed eyes of the others.

    What Azgal didn't know was that after killing a general, the process of the sixth heart renders him vulnerable, not being able to move.

    The next Strator, in a flurry of rage, charged with his weapon raised. Once he struck Azgal, he was stricken with paralysis. Why this happened, Azgal doesn't know.

    What transpired afterwards, saved Azgal's existence: the other five generals rushed towards him, but not to strike; they targeted his chest, each one pulling out one of his hearts. Azgal fell down, his blade and armor shrinking. The sixth heart was only half completed.

    Then the Doors opened, a veil of light coming into the room. It hovered towards the demon, flying over the generals that adventitiously bowed. When it arrived over Azgal, it engulfed him.

    Right after that, another veil purged the room. A black veil. It too hovered over Azgal, engulfing him and the veil of light.

    It is thought that the two powers were disputing about the demon's punishment.

    As the Strators also broke more than one rule, Azgal was left to live only with half an heart, but banished on a world, our world. He has to prove that he is worth of walking amongst the greater beings once again.
    Appearance

    Age : Unknown
    Height : 2.05 m
    Weight : 150 kg
    Eyes : White
    Hair: None
    Build : Large muscular body


    Equipment

    Head + Body : Demonic dark red heavy armor


    Weapons : Two handed bastard sword


    What is known about the sword:


    The hilt is crusted with strange signs. Anyone that comes near the sword can hear the following :

    " You are not to handle me . Pick me up and you shall perish. "


    The guard is wide, finishing with two spikes on each end.
    The blade is somewhat long .
    Two inches before the head, it splits in half, as it was a flame.
    The end of the blade is encrusted in an unknown material.

    1
    . Demonic Rush - Active

    Hell is knocking at your door.

    Azgal takes off the ground and hovers towards the target point of the ability. If he encounters an enemy, he picks him up with one hand and begins slashing him while continuing to hover until he reaches the target point of the ability. Because he holds his sword with only one hand when doing this, the damage dealt is lower.

    The number of times he strikes per second while hovering increases per level.
    The range of the ability increases per level.
    If he encounters an ally, he hovers past him.
    If he encounters other obstacles, he stops.
    He can be attacked while hovering.
    The enemy that he carries can be attacked by Azgal's allies.
    The ability can be canceled at any given time.

    2. Hell Fire Trail - Active

    This is nothing compared to what's awaiting you.

    The demon thrusts his sword into the ground.
    A large flame engulfs his sword. It then travels a given range in front of him. After reaching the destination, it explodes, making all the ground behind the flame and back to the demon catch fire.
    All enemies that will walk in the flames will take a certain damage per second.

    The damage dealt and the duration of the flames increase per level.



    3
    . Sin Impaling - Active

    Repent you haven't.

    Once the demon activates this ability, with every attack a blood spike will rise from the ground, damaging all the enemies in a small radius.

    The damage dealt increases per level.


    Possible ultimate skills




    4
    . Gate - Active/Passive

    Other sinners call for me.

    Azgal places a strange sign on the ground. If the life of the demon drops below a certain point, he will be then transported to the sign.

    The sign lasts for a given time.
    The transportation range is limited.
    The duration and the range increase per level.
    The life threshold lowers per level.



    5
    . Sacrifice - Active

    Thou shall shed more blood than me.

    The demon takes his sword and slashes his own half heart. Then a large quantity of blood reverses into his body, doubling his damage and armor.


    It comes with a certain cost. By cutting his heart, he stops it for a period. Every second his damage,armor and life decrease by a percentage until his heart starts beating again. His life cannot drop below 1.

    If his damage and armor drop below his normal values, they will return to normal as soon as his heart starts pumping again.

    If his damage and armor are above his normal values when his heart starts pumping, they will return to normal.

    The percentage by which his damage, armor and life decrease, lowers per level. The duration his heart is stopped lowers per level.



    6
    . Feast - Active

    It beats so delicious.

    The demon rips the chest of an enemy hero and cuts off a piece of his heart.

    After eating the heart, the demon gains a life regeneration bonus for a while, leaving the enemy hero dazed, having its movement reduced. His speed will gradually increase as his heart is mended.




    L.E.

    01.07.2009 : Changed the layout.

    Last edited by kaamos; 07-02-2009 at 01:20 PM.

  2. #2
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    Kinda neat. I'd recommend using the 3rd ultimate, because broodmother and sven (dota chars) already have increased dmg ults (+ life steal for brood). Gate is an interesting idea too, though.

    Question: If I read it right, demonic rush disables the enemy unit and does damage, right? Is Azgal able to move in this mode? If so, that's a little too powerful and I'd recommend removing that (unless it was at 20% speed or something, which could work).

    As for the sin impaling, I don't think we need another cleave hero, especially one so similar to another cleave hero (the aforementioned sven, with increased damage and an armor auro no less). I'd recommend using a slightly nerfed version of feast for his 2nd skill and then using Gate as his ulti.

    Overall, not a a bad hero. Can't think of anything too exploitable atm.

  3. #3
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    Thanks for the feedback.

    Demonic Rush : It works like this - the hero starts flying/hovering towards the target point of the ability.
    If he encounters an enemy, he takes that enemy for what is left of the ride ( until he arrives at the target point of the ability ; where you have selected him to Demonic Rush to ) .
    He then starts laying a certain number of hits per second according to his skill level. The damage he deals in Demonic Rush for each hit is a lot less than what he deals on his normal attack. Maybe a 25-30% of the damage.

    The hole point in making that skill was to work with the other two skills : Sin Impaling and Hell.

    Sin Impaling isn't actually a type of cleave. It may sound like that. But the damage it deals per each spike isn't a percentage of the hero's damage but a certain amount according to his skill. And this only triggers for a few seconds as it is an active skill.

    The combo I was imagining : you fight with a hero ; you cast Hell towards a certain direction behind him ; you then activate Sin and cast Demonic Rush in the same direction you casted Hell.
    You will slash him 3-4 times a second but with each hit Sin will trigger and deal extra damage. Also he will be taking damage from the Hell Fire because you are dragging him through the fire.

    Demonic Rush is a kind of a charge that picks up the first enemy unit it encounters. The only difference is that Azgal hovers a bit, leaving behind a dark fiery trail.


    Hope it is clearer now.

    Waiting for further feedback and possible changes.


    L.E. : I changed the layout of the suggestion. Didn't see Advanced Mode.
    Last edited by kaamos; 06-30-2009 at 06:44 PM.

  4. #4
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    I just have to bump this.

    All the hard work that went into porting him and posting and only one feedback.

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