A Gamer's Autobiography

[GoldDrive]

So I was almost killed in a car accident today, which really made me reflect on my life. I guess I experienced "the flash" or whatever you call it so here's how it went.

My Life.

-Some time in 1995: Came home to find Dad playing Warcraft II. It Begins.

-Meridian 59 comes out. I get scammed and cry a lot. Term Newb not yet offensive.

-Switch to Ultima Online. Got scammed a lot. And ganked. Also, saw first animated naked woman. Game gets boring due to constant ganking.

-Asheron's Call comes out at some point. First big let down. Crappy game mechanics too simplistic, even for my little kid brain. Archer class is useless.

-Dark Age of Camelot comes out. First 3d PvP experience. Game is crap, left it.

-Anarchy Online happens at some point in here. Game is a rough ride. Graphics make eyes hurt. Leet rifle forever remembered. First rollercoaster with class balance.

-Warcraft III Released. Game is crap. Was merely temporary host body for DotA to brood in.

-Ragnarok Online, Eve Online, Age of Conan, Star War Galaxies all happen somewhere in here. Great games, but each had some great flaw that ruined them. (Bots, Skill System, End Game, god-awful combat system etc...).


-World of Warcraft released. Looks horrible to me, but was peer pressured into buying it. Vanilla wow played, lots of fun. Burning crusade released, significant decrease in fun. Wrath of the Lich King Released, fun curve drops sharply. Blizzard's thumb in my anus curve on steady linear increase. Account cancelled in favor of rectal comfort.

-DotA bursts out of Warcraft III's chest to turn into some sort of disgusting corporate microtransaction filthy whore platform.

-HoN Open Beta begins. Other DotA copy completely overshadowed by superior gameplay and lack of retarded "go find your mom's purse" microtransaction system.

-Present Day.

I guess I've lived a pretty full life, but I don't think I'm quite ready to go. There's still so much for me to play.

[Dendo]

-World of Warcraft released. Looks horrible to me, but was peer pressured into buying it. Vanilla wow played, lots of fun. Burning crusade released, significant decrease in fun. Wrath of the Lich King Released, fun curve drops sharply. Blizzard's thumb in my anus curve on steady linear increase. Account cancelled in favor of rectal comfort.

-DotA bursts out of Warcraft III's chest to turn into some sort of disgusting corporate microtransaction filthy whore platform.

-HoN Open Beta begins. Other DotA copy completely overshadowed by superior gameplay and lack of retarded "go find your mom's purse" microtransaction system.

-Present Day.


me 2

[Randomguy360]

-Dark Age of Camelot comes out. First 3d PvP experience. Game is crap, left it.

-Warcraft III Released. Game is crap. Was merely temporary host body for DotA to brood in.



Why don't you go jump into that shredder over there?

[Altazor]

-DotA bursts out of Warcraft III's chest to turn into some sort of disgusting corporate microtransaction filthy whore platform.




never heard of such a thing, explain pls

[Randomguy360]

never heard of such a thing, explain pls


I can only assume he's talking about LoL

[BodyHammer]

You've elected to play a lot of really shitty games. Stop torturing yourself.

[SideKick1]

you disliked warcraft 3 but liked wow
i died inside
youre a terrible gamer

[KARTlK]

Where is starcraft in your life..?

I am actually slightly worried that you may have actually never played starcraft, instead of forgetting to mention it.

This.. is.. impossible?

[magnakaser]

Fail life is fail.

[UbecZug]

Starcraft? where?

[Timothy]

lost all credibility at





-Dark Age of Camelot comes out. First 3d PvP experience. Game is crap, left it.


-Warcraft III Released. Game is crap. Was merely temporary host body for DotA to brood in.

[Coral_sex]

Starcraft sucked.

[izzmad]

http://www.bildschirmarbeiter.com/content/anigifs/animated-gifs-22/animated-gifs-22-02.gif ....?






you disliked warcraft 3 but liked wow
i died inside
youre a terrible gamer

ty i couldnt find the right words myself, still perplex of what i read there. :eek:

[Juular]

Why don't you go jump into that shredder over there?

Gonna have to agree there. WC3 and DAoC are two great games. :\

[Tairashi]

So..did you ever play a game you actually liked?

[SolidStroke]

Not even a cool story, bro.

[Malefication]

OP sucks.

[Narfle]

OP is gunning for his 72 virgins

[jay`t]

holy god

some time in the mid 80s: dad playing intellivision. play shooting gallery and a million galaga clones. life is good.

a bit later: coleco is out. those controllers were cool! (had round twisty knobs and you could insert cards)

sometime after that, i'm six now: sega master system enters the house, and i totally become an addict. i'm still a kid though, so when i do good at games like ghostbusters or fantasy zone (great game) or teddy boy or RAMBO, i panic a bit and turn off the game because I was scared (of what? who knows).

parents got me a game boy for christmas. the first time i beat level nine high five was in a doctor's office. strangely enough, i remember this day more clearly than the day i lost my virginity. my dad was a gamer, and we played ALTERED BEAST for the sega gensis. life was really good.

I convince my parents to get a super nintendo, and I now have a TV in my own room. (can you see where my life is going?) Too many great games to list, but VIP goes to super mario world, megaman, chrono trigger, and well loads of others.

i'm like, 9 or 10, now? this is too daunting a task to even bother finishing, and that's even before this thing called AOL came out. I'll not go into the craziness that MPLAYER.com was, hating playing games like Starcraft online because the people were too good, the MECHWARRIOR and QUAKE lan parties (nothing beat railing fools on THE EDGE. nothing.). I won't mention how Gemstone and other text based games forced me to learn how to type, nor shall I delve deep into Diablo II pretty much causing me to bomb my classes.

[OTRobin]

you disliked warcraft 3 but liked wow
i died inside
youre a terrible gamer

emptyquote this post for the rest of thread