Your Girlfriend Describing HoN

[Erikman]

Ask someone who has seen you play HoN but never played themselves to describe it. Post their responses for hilarity.

My girlfriend: "There are lots of heroes, it has something called farming, and it involves going from one place to the next."

[MyDarling]

Wow, i wish i had a girlfriend...

[Sauron`]

..................
because I dont have one

[Pupp3tMast3r]

"I hate that game. Wish you could spent more time cuddling than smacking down, double killing or annihilating a bunch of nerds".

[SauroposYdon]

My sister: What are you doing? Fighting Spanish people?

I was playing voodoo jester... and he kept saying si si senor and Bastardo! he he :p

[Vayle]

My girlfriend: "You flick your boobs and battle 'The Krogan'"

( in reference to me playing Suc )

[Hopea`]

girlfriend new hero or wut?

[InsaneChef]

"that game you play that involves genocide"

edit: i asked a female roommate and not my girlfriend. so cry less.

[Jainay]

Hahaha, good ones guys.

[Static]

"A f**king awesome game that I waste all of my time on"

She plays HoN.

[Galford]

"Maybe you could push my lane harder later tonight..."

[Phaced]

"Maybe you could push my lane harder later tonight..."
Epic win!

[Tempting]

she sat there confused for 5 minutes asking me what laning, creep kills, denies, etc are and what the different heroes do. then she said 'huh' and walked away

[MINORTOTEM]

Nice. I haven't given my hand a voice yet though

[airplane]

"Fun."

[pakoito]

"That **** you do to scream at the computer"

[DdsT]

"The game where you have click all the time"
"The click click click game"

[Snowyowl1]

Nice. I haven't given my hand a voice yet though

Win.

[cavitycreep]

Her: There are monsters... little monsters.
Me: Little monsters?
Her: In this little world... with lots of trees. And the monsters are trying to kill each other... in their little world.

[HowlingFish]

"I'm sorry hun, We're going to take a break from each other, see you around"...


...
._. When she found out about HoN x_X

[Rekondo]

"HoN? I thought it was called World of Warcraft, isn't that what everyone is playing right now?"

[Elephino]

"Oh, you're playing the tree game again."

[Wylker]

when does the funny part of this thread start

[Eldu]

"the game u play, when u call other ppl noobface! and whats autoattacking?"

[Apostate]

"The voices are cheesy"


True story.

"Are you really gonna play HoN instead of **** me?"

"Yeah..."

"I can't believe you, you came over to my house, installed HoN on MY computer, and are sitting here playing it while I'm lying naked on my bed waiting for you."

"Oh...sorry.."

[Matemeo]

"Why do you type in all caps...?"

"I type in all caps because I'm yelling at these idiots"

"...I should post an FML, "My boyfriend thinks typing in caps on a video game constitutes yelling FML"

[BarfArama]

"Watching you play this game makes me dizzy"

[Fluffeh]

"Are you really gonna play HoN instead of **** me?"

"Yeah..."

"I can't believe you, you came over to my house, installed HoN on MY computer, and are sitting here playing it while I'm lying naked on my bed waiting for you."

"Oh...sorry.."
haha thats pretty ****ing epic. +1

[eoLithic]

After playing HON for a while now

I have banned my half Brazilian sister from my house..;

[l3alanar]

'That game you play, where you fight with other people, c onquering or some sh*t'

[Delusion]

when I asked her she knew it was for something like this so she said

"Sure to please gamers everywhere, hon is an exciting game filled with adventures and explosions, due to mass clicking, you might get carpal tunnel."

[ScoutsRus]

Girlfriend: "theres the heroes and its kinda like a draft and everybody gets to pick one, but sometimes you can't pick a certain one because they say you can't, and then you go and have some gold and you can buy some items like a buttefly and the items help you play better. "

"You try and get the forts of the other team, wait forts or bases, and crapes try and stop you. Whoever destroys it wins."

[Numerio]

pics or it didnt happen

[Breakfasty]

"So it's a game that you play with other people, 5v5. Aaaand... there's these hero characters and they all have special abilities and you're trying to take the other teams towers/fortress thingy down. Aaand there is a lot of running around and killing creep thingies. And stuff."

[Decay57]

"You try and get the forts of the other team, wait forts or bases, and crapes try and stop you. Whoever destroys it wins."

The crapes are just a distraction. You really gotta watch out for the cheese blintzes.

[Vulpes]

haha thats pretty ****ing epic. +1

Also surely happened.

ITT: Nerds trying to lenghten their epeen by bragging about nonexistant girlfriends

[Th3Th1ng]

(talking to other friends)
Her - "Whats that game you play where i always here a loud announcer voice that yells bloodbath?"

Me - "Heroes of Newerth sweetie"

Her - "Yeah THAT GAME will forever make me think of gross periods"

I facepalmed

[TheHamsta]

Her "what are you doinggg?"
Me "nothin."
Her "YOUR TOWERS ARE UNDER ATTACK! Aren't they?"
Me ":O"

[BodyHammer]

ITT: Really obvious, really bad, fake girlfriend posts.

[Fiesta]

Not a girlfriend, but a close friend that is a girl.

"That game you play that takes way too long to finish, and is really nerdy"

[eNTi]

Game announcer: "Choose wisely!"
GF: "You have to choose wisely... again!"

[JBKnutsen]

girlfriend new hero or wut?


After playing HON for a while now

I have banned my half Brazilian sister from my house..;

WTB more of these and WTS obviously fake posts.

I mean, can't you at least come up with anything realistic?


"well, MY GIRLFRIEND she sed to me that this is game wher you fight monstar, and then she sed HEY BB U WANNA HAVE SEXAL INTERCOURSE? and then i sed liek no i play game lol2cool 4 gf"

Please. More realistic posts.

[Heavenlapse]

Game announcer: "Choose wisely!"
GF: "You have to choose wisely... again!"


well played roffelz

[gambler]

http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/2685/zeak7c.jpg

"What happened to your screen? Too bad."

[Pupp3tMast3r]

haha thats pretty ****ing epic. +1

Also fake. FML

[Viole]

my bf describes it as a simple game he doesn't care to divulge time into

this is a kid who draws sprites for stonesense which is some visual display of dwarf fortress. hate him so much LOL

[OTRobin]

my bf describes it as a simple game he doesn't care to divulge time into

this is a kid who draws sprites for stonesense which is some visual display of dwarf fortress. hate him so much LOL

dwarf fortress is the equivalent of hon for shutins

[HomelyKing]

"looks like WoW and diablo combined imo -_-"
**** that im going to can her ass so hard.

[SandroPDa3mn]

Why cant they be fake?

I mean its rofl when ur girl sayz:

So u got 600xp/m? Why dont u get more xp in the sack u lame sun of a b*tch.

But noone will post it here, ZOMG THE HUMILIATION.. Or will they :P

[MileyCyrus]

omg, i HATE dwarf fortress..

anyway, my gf doesn't like any game where you kill people, so i dont tell her about hon.

[Darklexic]

would never tell my girlfriend I play Hon, **** if i played online poker id keep my mouth shut... why games=natural antiafrodiziak

[Viole]

omg, i HATE dwarf fortress..

anyway, my gf doesn't like any game where you kill people, so i dont tell her about hon.

what a vag


would never tell my girlfriend I play Hon, **** if i played online poker id keep my mouth shut... why games=natural antiafrodiziak

your gf sucks. i wouldn't date a guy who didnt play games tbh.

[OTRobin]

would never tell my girlfriend I play Hon, **** if i played online poker id keep my mouth shut... why games=natural antiafrodiziak

only if you sperg out and can't help but talk about them all day

[OTRobin]

viole would you date me

[spiralJunkie]

that game where you're a fairy

[Viole]

viole would you date me

no rss you said im not cute

[Zelfana]

"Dumb game that takes too much of my attention."

Yeah she's jealous at a game. She wouldn't say anything else.

Edit: She always wants me to pick Nymphora, though. =D

[OTRobin]

no rss you said im not cute

i never said that

youre cute as a button

[Narfle]

Hi i would also pretend that i have a girlfriend.

My girlfriend always says "lol ur apm in bed is so much higher lol! and ure like ophelia with 3 units using her ulti lol lol omg ure so good in bed omg omg why dont everyone worship u?!?!?! oh and hon is stupid! but ure so sexi and so good at sexing lol omg lol!"

If youre going to post pure bullshit nonsensical tardfaced ****, then at least do it properly.

Oh and viole, i believe you. Both when you say you have a boyfriend (because statistically theres bound to be a blind paraplegic dwarf that isnt repulsed by you), but also when you say you would never date a guy that didnt play games.

Because of nessecity obviously.

[Desirable]

She complains that I spend way too much time on the computer, playing HoN/DotA.
Then I say, "Well at least we're in the same room and I'm not outside playing pool with the boys or something".

But seriously, I'd have to probably limit my time I play HoN when she is around. :p

[Narfle]

Nonono desu-mod, you have to include various sexual references that highlight what a proficient lover you are and such things.

[JBKnutsen]

Hi i would also pretend that i have a girlfriend.

My girlfriend always says "lol ur apm in bed is so much higher lol! and ure like ophelia with 3 units using her ulti lol lol omg ure so good in bed omg omg why dont everyone worship u?!?!?! oh and hon is stupid! but ure so sexi and so good at sexing lol omg lol!"

If youre going to post pure bullshit nonsensical tardfaced ****, then at least do it properly.

Oh and viole, i believe you. Both when you say you have a boyfriend (because statistically theres bound to be a blind paraplegic dwarf that isnt repulsed by you), but also when you say you would never date a guy that didnt play games.

Because of nessecity obviously.

From now on, you're my best friend. Great minds think alike.

[Spaztick]

I don't have one, but I magine if I did it would be something like "That game you're into that makes you yell at people a lot."

[ShredderIV]

Something that crazy just has to be true...

[HomelyKing]

rofl, bodyhammer <3

i'm going to sig that quote until i get banned.

[Hash]

i went 42-0

with my pipe

[LolMaliken]

Earlier my girlfriend was *****ing at me, she was all like

MYGF: are you really playing that game again?

me: Silence wench

MYGF: baby please come to bed with me, I need you

me: not now woman, i'm running carry-blacksmith

MYGF(SHE IS A GIRL): but baby i brought home a hot friend so you could have sex with both of us

me: YEAH MULTICAST 4x YOU NOOB FAGGOT

MYGF(SERIOUSLY GUYS I REALLY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, SHE IS NOT FAKE): but bodyhammer(she really calls me bodyhammer because it references my penor) you are so sexy and manly and you have a penis so large that it crushes my ribcage when it is inside me, we are so horny right now

me: you know what else I have? A harkons, bi.tch.

MYGF(NOT MY PILLOW, I SWAR): is there anything i can do to get you to have sex with both of us extremely hot women, you sexy stud of a gamer god?

me: yeh, call up another friend and tell her to bring us pizza, i eat AND play while I **** (cuz that's how I roll in real life)

and then we all did sex like, a bajillion times while I went 42-0 with bs.
lies, i was there. 42-1. you whore

[OTAlfred]

How about I young temptress Viole? Would you care the partake in a delightful evening or three with myself?

[Fozzle]

Not my girlfriend, just a close female friend who has seen me during some intense HoN sessions...

http://imgur.com/yXWHG.png

[InsaneChef]

-snip-


best. post. ever.

[Narfle]

and then we all did sex like, a bajillion times while I went 42-0 with bs.

That is so sig worthy.

[InsaneChef]

it has the naughty word in it that mods hate

[Viole]

How about I young temptress Viole? Would you care the partake in a delightful evening or three with myself?

old men are pretty experienced, wise, and kind. plus they can't get it up so it's win/win ;3

http://www.allproducts.com/zipper/mh/Product-2009112143431-l.jpg

[Chalky_Brush]

"I hate hon. It totally takes your full attention for 40-60 minutes. Its bullshit and I'll never come over again if you play that **** in my presence once more."

:(

[noodle0117]

my sis once said: 他为什么老说 yes?
when i was playing nighthound

[tacomaster]

girlfriend new hero or wut?

lolz

[Reonhato]

Nice. I haven't given my hand a voice yet though
http://www.maximumpc.com/files/u3606/hand_puppet.jpg

[Lamer883]

close friend of mine said

dota graphics are better

i died inside

[tacomaster]

"Are you really gonna play HoN instead of **** me?"

"Yeah..."

"I can't believe you, you came over to my house, installed HoN on MY computer, and are sitting here playing it while I'm lying naked on my bed waiting for you."

"Oh...sorry.."

no way jose, stop making **** up XD

[eoLithic]

WTB more of these and WTS obviously fake posts.

I mean, can't you at least come up with anything realistic?



Please. More realistic posts.

I have a sister that is half Brazilian and because of the Brazilians that play HON my sister is banned from my house. True Story

[JBKnutsen]

I have a sister that is half Brazilian and because of the Brazilians that play HON my sister is banned from my house. True Story

WTB it anyway.

[LolMaliken]

http://www.maximumpc.com/files/u3606/hand_puppet.jpg
wrong hand

[OTAlfred]

old men are pretty experienced, wise, and kind. plus they can't get it up so it's win/win ;3

http://www.allproducts.com/zipper/mh/Product-2009112143431-l.jpg
I can indeed alocate that I have experience and am wise in my endeavors, as well as only bringing forth the kindest of my intentions. However when speaking in the interest of "getting it up" I must declare that that is not my intention at all. I mearly wish to enjoy the evening with a lovely woman of stature who can enjoy the quiet glass of brandy with me. My only true issue with this statement is the button. What and/or who is that referencing or saying?

[Desirable]

My only true issue with this statement is the button. What and/or who is that referencing or saying?
I believe what the young lady is trying to say is that she finds men of your age "as cute as a button".
That in itself is a little disturbing.

[LolMaliken]

I believe what the young lady is trying to say is that she finds men of your age "as cute as a button".
That in itself is a little disturbing.
i think alfred is awesome myself. also, hi des!

[Narfle]

I can indeed alocate that I have experience and am wise in my endeavors, as well as only bringing forth the kindest of my intentions. However when speaking in the interest of "getting it up" I must declare that that is not my intention at all. I mearly wish to enjoy the evening with a lovely woman of stature who can enjoy the quiet glass of brandy with me. My only true issue with this statement is the button. What and/or who is that referencing or saying?

Pretty sure Alfred doesnt drink.

[LolMaliken]

pretty sure somebody who would have to take care of batman and clean his mansion and his entire industry and be his medic and keep his mouth shut and not have any woman would drink from time to time. just me though

[whistle]

my sis once said: 他为什么老说 yes?
when i was playing nighthound

google says that:
"他为什么老说" = Why did he always say

why did you put that in Chinese sir?

[theevilsanta]

GF: that game gets you way too stressed out.

Me: uhh ... (almost got a double kill on sw early on) ... it's just fun that's all ... (one hit left!) ... ****ING BULLSHIT!!!!! (2-10 scout pops out for a ks)

GF: *rolls eyes*

[Fluffeh]

Tried introducing her to the game. She didn't grasp the concept and went back to playing tetris.

I believe what the young lady is trying to say is that she finds men of your age "as cute as a button".
That in itself is a little disturbing.

*records this information*

[Ularg]

wrong hand

Maybe for you.

[Viole]

I can indeed alocate that I have experience and am wise in my endeavors, as well as only bringing forth the kindest of my intentions. However when speaking in the interest of "getting it up" I must declare that that is not my intention at all. I mearly wish to enjoy the evening with a lovely woman of stature who can enjoy the quiet glass of brandy with me. My only true issue with this statement is the button. What and/or who is that referencing or saying?

alfred is a baller in the show.

button was to lolmaliken

[LolMaliken]

why are u giving me buttons?

[MagicCake]

All i ever get is "I don't care. Turn it down, I'm trying to take a nap."

[IMaTRUCK1]

My left hand,to which I refer as my girlfriend,doesn't want to talk about HoN and calls me a geek.My imaginary girlfriend > all of yours now,right? duh...

[Acinod]

HoN is my girlfriend.

[MagicCake]

My left hand,to which I refer as my girlfriend,doesn't want to talk about HoN and calls me a geek.My imaginary girlfriend > all of yours now,right? duh...

If we are counting hands as girlfriends then I officially have three girlfriends :D

[COOLFACEBRO]

If we are counting hands as girlfriends then I officially have three girlfriends :D
You don't have a hand, enjoy your girlfriend.

[jay`t]

Usually when she hears someone raging over viop she asks if i'm getting yelled at again

=\

[LibrteORDeth]

Also surely happened.

ITT: Nerds trying to lenghten their epeen by bragging about nonexistant girlfriends

This.

[HunteR_]

My wife said "It looks like that other game you played for like the last 5 years"

[Gridlocked]

"It's a game with two teams of 5 players based on DotA, but apparently better, and their characters are monsters. You can farm gold and I'm not entirely sure what the objective is; but if it's similar to DotA it would be to destroy the other team's towers."

My girlfriend understands mostly :3 So win.

[Sinestro]

"Looks pretty gay whatever it is".

[Testknight]

HoN is my girlfriend.

Basically this.

[magnakaser]

My girlfriend watched me play a game once. I was Madman, whom she was convinced was some frog. She called into question the logic and rules of the universe in HoN when I took down Behemoth in three seconds.

"How can a little frog kill a giant cow monster who is hitting it with a tree? This game makes no sense, it's stupid."

So, that was her take on HoN.

[dschindlerb]

my Girfriend: "Missing Middle Lane"

YES! she plays it too!

[MindBender]

"Just as Gay as Dota"

[Muumilapsus]

"That game where you scream and rage with your retard friends and scare the **** out of the dog"

[Darxio]

"Stop playing that game and do the dishes. Why can't you pause it?"

[NrFive]

"Stop playing that game and do the dishes. Why can't you pause it?"

Ay indeed, mine says things like:

She: "Could you do X"

Me: "Can't ingame atm, no pause possbility"

She: "So?"

In other words, go do what she asked or you'll have one pissed gf...

[jar]

(talking to other friends)
Her - "Whats that game you play where i always here a loud announcer voice that yells bloodbath?"

Me - "Heroes of Newerth sweetie"

Her - "Yeah THAT GAME will forever make me think of gross periods"

I facepalmed


http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k187/grig3814/bloodbath.jpg

[Gorb]

"Cool."

Is pretty much her response when I'm on vidjamagames, nomatter what I'm playing.

[ImmortalTecz]

My sister: What are you doing? Fighting Spanish people?

I was playing voodoo jester... and he kept saying si si senor and Bastardo! he he :p

I'm officially scared

[Tamachan]

I told a hooker about HoN Last night so i had something to post here. She said "So why did S2 make this dead-o-wood-o guy so powaful-desu"

then i ****ed her face, was gd.

[Danvari]

http://5.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kumt7rJafF1qzxzwwo1_500.jpg

[Narfle]

oh that pic works on so many levels

EDIT: So many levels.

[Bobble]

I'm officially scared

You know that he was referring to Voodoo Jester when he said 'he', right?

[coolmans]

You know that he was referring to Voodoo Jester when he said 'he', right?


si si senioooor

[SideKick1]

god damn it

[Nietzschean]

Wife: Get out of the computer room, or Im leaving
Me: Divorce papers top shelf

But seriously, why talk about it with your girlfriends. I dont even talk about it with friends who play it, unless we have just played a game together in the last 5 minutes.

The forums are here for a reason.

[spikernum1]

ganking

[ImmortalTecz]

I'm guessing that 99% of the people in this post, just wrote some random ****, so that the other people would think they had a girlfriend

[Narfle]

But seriously, why talk about it with your girlfriends. I dont even talk about it with friends who play it, unless we have just played a game together in the last 5 minutes.

The forums are here for a reason.

Yeah, so you can talk to strangers with similar interests.

I still also talk to my friends about interests we have in common. I dont see anything strange in that.

Cralle, go report on this new invention "Fire". Rumor says that it "burns", whatever that is.

[coolmans]

Yeah, so you can talk to strangers with similar interests.

I still also talk to my friends about interests we have in common. I dont see anything strange in that.

Cralle, go report on this new invention "Fire". Rumor says that it "burns", whatever that is.

O great narfle who arth in OT
Hallowed bee thy name
thy trolls will come
thy will be flammed
on hon as it is on forums
give us this day our daily posts
and forgive us our rages
as we forgive those who rage against us
and lead us not to scout
but deliver us from trolls

amen

[Lamer883]

he isnt a troll, his posts are intelligent.

[Lamer883]

god damn it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtTfptkUgj0&feature=related

[Apostate]

I think its funny how this has turned into a thread where people make fun of other people for pretending to have girlfriends. I'm pretty sure the people who are whining about cheesy fake girlfriend comments are the single folk in this thread.

[a_cloth]

"looks stupid, all you try to do is kill each others base?.... real original"


I raged

[Narfle]

I think its funny how this has turned into a thread where people make fun of other people for pretending to have girlfriends. I'm pretty sure the people who are whining about cheesy fake girlfriend comments are the single folk in this thread.

Well you are right about me, ive been single for about two years. But then again, it is sorta nice because the relationship i was getting out of lasted 4 years, and the last year wasnt really that funny.

Its nice not having to go to bed when youre not sleepy just because she is and she wants you to.

Its nice being able to cocoon yourself when you go to sleep because there isnt some pseudo-needy person wanting physical contact while being out cold.

Its nice making whatever *I* want for dinner, she would only accept rice 5 days a week, and thats just pure bullshit.

Its nice not having to sit and actually pay attention to watching Gilmore Girls because you are expected to debate various bullshit parts of it afterwards, most of the **** she wanted to talk about wasnt even relevant to the plot, wtf is that.

Its nice not having to moderate your opinion (which you know is the right opinion) just because she doesnt agree and dont even know why she doesnt agree. She just *feels* that way. Rational Thought > Feelings, but if i insisted on that i would "insensitive".

Its nice being allowed to play HoN (back then it was UO and later dota) for 6 hours nonstop if thats what i want to do.

Its nice smoking indoors in MY OWN APARTMENT.

Its nice not having a curfew if im going to a bar with my mates (although in all fairness she never complained when i broke it).

Its nice not to have all her insecure crap shoved down my throat on a daily basis. "do you think my friend Michelle is cute?". Yeah, we all know the answer to that question, and also the answer that will make her stfu.

Its nice to know that now, when someone tells me about one of their problems, they appreciate when i suggest a possible solution rather than just saying "awww thats so bad/sad/wrong/silly/etc".

So yeah, im single. And i enjoy it. Not that i would pass up a relationship if it seemed like it would be a good one, and i dont have ridiculous expectations for one either, but im not going to go search the traditional dating areas for one, because the people i would meet there are the exact sort of people i would end up hating after talking to them for more than 60 seconds.

So if opportunity presents itself (like it has multiple times so far, some girls find me very endearing, most dont) then im not going to pass it up.

I wouldnt mind getting my first girlfriend back though, she was as ****ed in the head as i am and had some really cool elder brothers that shared my interests.

Conclusion/TLDR: Boo ****ing hoo to you, cuntface. Being single doesnt have to be a bad thing, and most of the time, it isnt.

[Lamer883]

i was saving that for you

so i can indulge in this heaty goodness

[Leodin]

"looks like fun when you know how to play" :)

[Thrall]

"Are you really gonna play HoN instead of **** me?"

"Yeah..."

"I can't believe you, you came over to my house, installed HoN on MY computer, and are sitting here playing it while I'm lying naked on my bed waiting for you."

"Oh...sorry.."

Virgin.

[BodyHammer]

I think its funny how this has turned into a thread where people make fun of other people for pretending to have girlfriends. I'm pretty sure the people who are whining about cheesy fake girlfriend comments are the single folk in this thread.

Married, and people who have actually had girlfriends can typically spot those who pretend from a mile away.

Suck it virgin.:madm:

And because I'm a dick I'll call out two people in particular in this thread:


"Are you really gonna play HoN instead of **** me?"

"Yeah..."

"I can't believe you, you came over to my house, installed HoN on MY computer, and are sitting here playing it while I'm lying naked on my bed waiting for you."

"Oh...sorry.."


(talking to other friends)
Her - "Whats that game you play where i always here a loud announcer voice that yells bloodbath?"

Me - "Heroes of Newerth sweetie"

Her - "Yeah THAT GAME will forever make me think of gross periods"

I facepalmed


People don't even talk like this. Socially inept, basement dwelling, life long shut-in, virgins. :madm:

[BodyHammer]

Rumor has it that your mom is virgin. http://rpgcodex.net/phpBB/images/smiles/emo-emot-smug.gif

Hey, hey, **** you. My mother was an enormous knob-whore. Don't you ever disrespect her like that again.