[URGENT]Help: short background story for my game

[Numerio]

hey, since I have a dispute with my teammate

can you read this short backgroundstory and give some feedback?



Thunder and lightning struck castle Waldenfels whilst Lord Angerhate the Rageful read his latest purchase from a shady travelling book salesman.
The title of the book was something like "Necroskeletonmicon" - and wasnt really entertaining to read, thought Lord Angerhate
..and actually said it out loud too.

But although books normally dont, it happend to have a proud and vengeful personality, and so it dissolved offended into a glaring green flash, which also spawned a demonportal.

*sigh*
With a cool move Angerhate grabbed his Glock and decided to survive the night nontheless
especially the part with the book beeing offended and having a personality.

[Numerio]

please help me,
I need it soon

^^

[KARTlK]

The style seems over the top violent/cliche so giving the book a personality works. It seems intentionally lazy.

[Numerio]

The style seems over the top violent/cliche so giving the book a personality works. It seems intentionally lazy.

thanks for the response,
one important thing: was it somewhat funny?

not that its important.
but im seriously discussing with my mate why I think its funny, and why he thinks not
and Id hit him with something if I could atm, but I cant, so I need you
(he: "but books dont have personalitys, why would you write it. its bullshit")

btw I forgot to say that the game will be a small 3D survival horror game, and the background story isnt much more than a obligation

Its just personal now.

[Vexium]

waht

[Gestalt]

I chuckled a little bit..... Does that help at all?

[Bobble]

The book is magic, of course it has a personality. That's the point of these sorts of magic books.

But 'with a cool move', that part really irks me. How about; 'With a quick flick of his wrist, Angerhate reached down and clenched his gun hard as he decided to live through the night, or not live at all.'