View Full Version : The Cookie
03-13-2011, 04:54 AM
How to play
Do whatever it takes to obtain the cookie.
The cookie cannot be divided.
The cookie is indestructible.
Does not have to be hon related.
How to win
If you have the cookie
you are winning
The cookie is in :pand: back pocket.
03-13-2011, 05:14 AM
Hire Chinese to strip :pand: and force him to have sex, allowing me to take it from his pocket.
I then stow the cookie in my back pocket.
03-13-2011, 05:28 AM
*presents Bobble with http://www.purpleyoshispage.com/apple.gif*
I then steal the cookie while Bobble extends his Yoshi tongue to obtain this delectable treat.
I then slice in half a pineapple, carve out a small inner space on each half, place the cookie in side, and reseal the pineapple with super super glue. I proceed to ship the pineapple to a Dole Plantation's pineapple shipment traveling to Shanghai. It is currently on a freighter going through the East China Sea, and the ship is now under thorough inspection by a heavily armed Interpol fleet for suspicion of illicit arms trafficking.
03-13-2011, 06:55 AM
The train crashes and the pineapple is thrown from the container, being thrown from the sky and I notice it from my classroom. Later on I look at the area to find a split open pineapple with a cookie in the middle. I instantly know that this cookie is special. I go home and create a hidden area in the bottom of my desk drawer, which is insulated with rubber to prevent a circuit from completing that, when completed, will combine two chemicals to cause an instantaneous explosion and destroy the cookie. I have a key made of rubber that is inserted into a hole in the bottom of the drawer to insulate it whenever I want to view the cookie in silence.
I give Kongor the key.
03-13-2011, 07:07 AM
I see you give a rubbery key to Kongor. This moment I know that you have a reason for it. I call out :warb: and :wild: to help me slaughter Kongor, ofc I take token.
Then I infiltrate your house when you are not there, putting desks and sofas etc. aside, looking for where it is. I end up seeing a funny lock, and try my rubber key on it. It opens, and I take the cookie and then :jera: casts protective charm on it. I know something is gonna go boom, and on that moment an explosion happens. I will respawn with my token, and the cookie is on the ground.
Now I start nomming it, never being able to bite it, just enjoying the taste...
Mentionably, :warb: and :wild: are still with me.
03-13-2011, 08:52 AM
Using Shadow's Deathnote, which was in his hidden drawer with his cookie, I write 'Warbeat' and 'Wildsoul' in it, and wait patiently. Once they die of heart attacks, I pay Scout 3000 dollars to get steal the cookie out of your trembling fingers.
I build an unbreakable safe, and put the cookie, the key and the blueprints inside of the safe, locking them safely for all time.
03-13-2011, 05:21 PM
I steal the safe with a crane I rent, buy a boat, put the crane on the boat with the safe, and ride out to the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I then use the crane to drop the safe into the waters, straight into the middle of the Mariana Trench (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariana_Trench).
Using an ultra-pressure-resistant sensor I attached to the safe, I have determined that the safe is now at the very bottom of the trench.
Feeling satisfied, I cut for myself a pineapple in two halves and munch on one side happily like a bear digging his face into a beehive for honey. I then sleep with the Indonesian prostitutes (who are clean - I had them checked) that I hired as "helping hands" for the journey whilst still gripping the pineapple half firmly with my teeth, draining its sweet juices to quench my parched throat. I acquire a tan in the process.
03-13-2011, 07:41 PM
I eat the cookie.
03-13-2011, 09:45 PM
I slice revenant and take the cookie from his stomach.
03-13-2011, 09:51 PM
i sleep with yukari and take the cookie after the action. before leaving, i steal a pineapple also.
03-13-2011, 09:58 PM
I call AC-130 gunship fire on Vexium, shredding him to pieces and allowing me to take the cookie and the pineapple. I then put the cookie in a box of unobtainium and give it to Gandalf.
03-13-2011, 10:02 PM
i revive T2 style and proceed to manhunt revenant's family. after frequent blackmailings, Revenant is forced to return the pineapple to me.
i enjoy the succulent pineapple, garnished solely by the taste of sweet, sweet victory.
03-13-2011, 10:15 PM
But what about the cookie?
03-13-2011, 10:59 PM
MY PINEAPPLE! I was going to use that for some hot action too.
03-13-2011, 11:51 PM
03-14-2011, 12:51 AM
I cookie the pineapple, then we all rejoice.
03-14-2011, 12:53 AM
I caramelize the cookied pineapple, and the world divides by 0.
03-14-2011, 05:51 AM
I grow a pineapple plant
I open a box of chips ahoy and enjoy a number of cookies, while scoffing at your attempts to obtain a single one; One that is indestructible and cannot be eaten because of it.
Worst cookie ever.
03-14-2011, 08:42 AM
i summon the cookie using a sorcerer's pineapple ring arrangement and Loli's chips ahoy cookies.
i take the cookie and fuse it with a pineapple, performing the necessary song and dance in the process. i then give the pineapple-cookie to this man
03-14-2011, 11:10 AM
I use sunlight to pulverize the man. He's not Edward Cullen you know. I then steal the cookiepineapple. I give it to a troll. Trolling is a art, so now the cookie is enchanted into a painting. It has magically gained the taste of all the good cookies in the world, stealing the taste as such.
The painting is mine.
03-14-2011, 11:15 AM
The painting was actually made in a level 3 dream. I go into the dream through inception and grab it, then put you into a coma as I return back to reality, forcing you to experience limbo forever. muwahaha I'm so evil
03-14-2011, 12:32 PM
the painting was actually in a level 6 dream. in the level 3 dream, revenant has obtained the cookie painting, thinking ouker is now trapped forever in limbo (he is lol). i then steal the painting from revenant, bludgeon him with a giant hammer, and strap him into a chair. i return back to dream lvl 2 after making sure there is no way he can get out of the chair, forcing him to experience limbo forever.
in the level 2 dream i cripple Neo, take his jacket, and lead an assortment of Agent Smith's clones into dream lvl 1. in dream level 1, i take The One Ring from Frodo just prior to Gollum jumping at him into the magma abyss of Mount Doom. The Agent Smiths (there are like a baker's dozen or so) enter the battle against both the last stand of Gondor and the forces of Sauron, leading to an epic three-way.
I then leave the dream after saying hello to Saruman. Back in reality, I proceed to put on Neo's jacket, wear The One Ring, and go straight to the center of the Earth, where I place the painting at the planet's core. The cookie is purged of its 2D confinement and I return to the surface, arriving somewhere in Tibet.
The Dalai Lama greets me and asks politely for The One Ring and the cookie, and, feeling honored, I oblige. We follow a procession of monks to the top of Mt. Everest. Here I watch in awe as they perform a sacred ritual known only to the most elite of the Tibetan monks, or those whose ancestry is that of the Nyingmapas ("the Ancient Ones" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nyingma)) of their order.
They create a dimensional rift before my very eyes with their prayers and chants. Several of the men are also dancing as if they were possessed. I put on headphones, turn on my iPod, and start listening to "Dance of Death" by Iron Maiden. The Dalai Lama, gracefully yet with a great hidden vigor, tosses the cookie into the portal. Only seconds later, the hole in time and space, black like the void of an abyss, disappears, leaving me bewildered, yet satisfied.
The Dalai Lama's men bow to me in a double-line formation, and the Lama himself comes close to me, kneeling, so I turn off my iPod and take off my headphones. Then he presents me with something that truly brings tears to my eyes. Cradled in his enormous gown or kilt or whatever that thing is called, he had a pineapple, which he now presented to me, with the stunningly, perfectly ripe pineapple resting on both his palms.
I take it and bite straight into it, enjoying again the sweet taste of utter victory - also, pineapple skin. I lightly grab Neo's jacket at both sides with my hands, which I'm still wearing, and form-fit it to my shoulders. Still with the pineapple clenched in my jaw, its juices now lightly dripping into my mouth, I take my sunglasses out and use both of my hands to put them on. I then stare into the sun calmly yet with a dignified poise.
One of the monks has taken out his boombox, and he puts in a CD. The Matrix music begins to play and I take flight towards Miami, where my CSI team still needs me for deliverance of my one-liners.
03-14-2011, 02:20 PM
03-14-2011, 06:30 PM
So is this about the pineapple or the cookie? Or are they one and the same?
Either way, I magick the cookie out of Vex's mind and take control of it.
03-15-2011, 09:50 AM
^... You ruined a cool story bro.
You have control of the cookie. But is that really enough to keep it safe? Perhaps it is.
But you haven't forgotten some... Limbo-stuck person here are you? To be honest, wandering here is starting to cause some malfunctions. I have found a pattern of movement that opens a rift outside the limbo. I am back to the real world, but not the real planet. I am standing, luckily, close enough to Earth on Mars. I eat the Mars, even tho I have just trampled it, and hunt crazysheep's way too easily caught cookie. Since he is a sheep, I would need :warb: to get it easiest, but he is dead. Thus I port Lycan and he attacks crazysheep, but that is not quite enough! The powers of the cookie are protecting the owner. I try a different approach.
I find :devo: in the hellbourne woods, and with a decent amount of human treats, I get him to join me. I seek Vexium from the FBI, using :valk:'s Prism that I called for earlier. We are in some sort of reactorroom, where Vexium and his Pineapple are. :devo: says "stay near power, i pull them fukers in" and hooks Vexium in. At this point, I load :dead:punch, and then retaliate the oncoming Vexium, sending him outside the building, somewhere back to Tibet. I take the already-crunched pineapple, and seek sheep again. With the power of the pineapple now with me, I can easily subdue him and take the cookie.
I now return to the Limbo, thro the previous rift, and close it. I tried to get :jera: and :vood: and :deme: and :bomb: and :thun: and others to join me, but then a deep manly voice says "Do you want all the help you can get? Too bad it's me :blac:.
I am alone in the Limbo, with the cookie and the pineapple
03-16-2011, 11:47 PM
I need the cookie, it's overwhelming goodness is burning a hole inside me, a hole the size of the cookie. I had heard from a travelling mystic that a man by the name of Ouker had managed to obtain the cookie from his home in the Limbo. I wonder not how he obtained the cookie, only how to get it back from him.
persuading a team of scientists that the cookie will tell them the meaning of life, we manage to construct a portal to Limbo, with many test subjects dying. It was a long task, but finally we managed to get a monkey through the portal to Limbo, but choked on it's other-worldly gas. The second monkey faired better with it's astronaut helment.
It was time. I knew Ouker held some valuble power, his knowledge on rift control and :dead: punching. He would tough to defeat, but I felt confident that the items I had brought with me through the portal would serve me well; a harpon gun and a magnet.
Strange. This Limbo planet is habitable, but no life had spawned in eternity, it seemed. However, I know Ouker would have sensed my approach with his Rift powers, so I walked cautiously. I came into a cleared several hours later, and lo and behold, Ouker was sleeping this whole time! May the god be praised! I quickly attach the magnet to the end of my harpoon, take aim, and fire a fatal shot.
FWOMP! The spear struck deep in the flesh, ripping out the insides horribly. But the pineapple was crumpled already, so it wasn't too bad. Then my plan went to perfection. When I had the cookie earlier, I implanted a small amount of steel in it's center, and that was what the magnet had picked up just now. Using the power of pineapple and the magnet, I dragged along the cookie as I was pulling my spear and pineapple back. Success! I have the cookie.
As I was turning to leave, however, I stepped on a god damn twig. Ouker awoke with an angry roar! I started running hard, the pineapple using it's magics to speed up my wirey form. Ouker's contrl of the rift world was no match for the power of the pineapple! I hurdle my body through my portal machine, and as I did so, I activate several bombs attached to the machine to destroy it before Ouker reached it. As far as me and the scientists calculated, we figured that Ouker would be at least knocked out by the explosion, and would take a while to figure out where in the world I had come from.
I then head back to my security vault, complete with a 100 strong army protecting the electrocuted fence, several ninjas patrolling the grounds, numerous attack dogs, several obstacle cources taken from Ninja Warrior, The Maze of the Minotaur, and 4 Robocops forever on guard around the cookie and pineapple, forever encased in an impenetrable steel case, only opened by a complex 20-digit code only I knew.
Your move, cookie foes.
03-17-2011, 12:42 AM
I Leo strut into the vault and take the cookie.
03-17-2011, 12:45 AM
I Leo strut into the vault and take the cookie.
No, **** you, I made a whole story about getting that cookie and you are not ****ing this up by posting some bullshit gay sentence. Get out of here.
03-17-2011, 02:29 PM
*wakes up again* strange... Something feels bad. A cookie. A pineapple. Things are missing from this place. I have no idea who took them, and no idea where were they taken. But it was surely one of the people on good ol' earth. I once again craft a rift to the real world. As I pass in, I find in a newspaper, a tale about a man who went into the world's most protected place unharmed, with no sweat, but then got stuck inside with a cookie.
A cookie. That's what it said. The whereabouts of the pineapple are still unknown to me, but this cookie is surely the one. The one that belongs to me only!
I travel to where the vault is, by rifting of course. Then I look around it. I could sense a great flaw in the defenses, something that the foul thief never even thought of; it's not rift protected! So thus, I bypass a whole bunch of evil guards I probably wouldn't have been capable of fighting... Yet. I rift myself pretty deep into underground in the middle of the vault.
As I come from it, I see... Nothing. Everything is quite dark. I try moving but it's not working. Where did I get myself into? Why am I not able to move? But then I get an excellent idea, a bit suicidal too. I use my strength to move my arms a bit, upon when I hear crumbling. Then I :deadwood: punch them at each other. This I haven't done before, and I didn't expect it to happen. It sent everything in a 500 meter radius to be sent into the Limbo.
Ahh, the Limbo. I could see that nearly each guardian of the vault was appearantly dead, what with the nearly whole control of Limbo movement. I sense some presences. A few robots, a faint presence of someone who seems weak, and a mysteriously elegant presence. I also sensed powers that I have no idea how the **** they work. I walked into the vault like a boss, and noticed a huge blastdoor, which I knew already I couldn't break into. It had a 20-digit password it seemed.
I tried to cast a rift through but then I realized it; my powers had went way off the limits, I knew I wouldn't be able to rift around for a nice while. There weren't much choices, so I went to look around instead. In a weird room, I saw a javelin, and a magnet. Then it came to me like a silver bullet that missed luckily; the owner of this place is Bobble. That bastard has control over the world's greatest science team. No wonder everything here was so safe.
Im back at the blastdoor. I let the magnet close to it, and it nearly automatically opens, and thus I wonder again, magnets, how the **** do they work? ****ing miracles. Inside this mysteriously guarded chamber is rather dark. I see a body of a dead man on a suit, but I ignore it and cautiously move in.
On a silver tray, in the corner, I see the cookie. THE COOKIE!!!!
On the other corner, I see the magic pineapple. THE PINEAPPLE!!!
But then, as I keep switching my views and thinking which one to pick first, I feel an absurdly strong pull from behind. I fall back and crash myself painfully, into the magnet I left behind. My mind fuzzes, as I don't understand how it didn't pull me before, but then the mastermind appears himself. Bobble, of course! He knows how magnets work! That bastard.
My powers have ran out too darn much, and as Bobble approaches, I don't seem to find any way to escape the situation... Until a brilliant idea. I am the master of the Limbo. I can do this, on my own land. I use a miniatyre rift from a reserve source of power to remove the magnet. This leaves Bobble surprised, of course, and he quickly charges at me. Foolish. I collect my last pieces of strength to :deadwood: punch him out. But with my remaints of power, the damage is minimal. Bobble doesn't even flinch. But luckily to me, the hit caused his space helmet to break. He is now running out of oxygen. I try to stumble to the chamberroom, and go to where I thought the pineapple was, and took it and then collapsed. While I didn't get the cookie quite onto my grasp, I still got the pineapple.
On that moment, the Pineapple's magic suddenly arises, and I am healed magically. Bobble gained internal Oxygencreating powers, however he was still passed out from previous lack of it. I throw him out of the Limbo, somewhere in Alaska, dispose of the dead guy with the suit to somewhere far in Limbo, and then rebuild the vault to suit my purposes, the cookie is still guarded by the blastdoor, and I have remade the 20-digit code to protect it better. I kept the pineapple for myself, as it's powers are way too useful.
I wait patiently for the next one to try and steal it.
Slightly OOT: Bobble, this is ****ing awesome
03-17-2011, 05:53 PM
I Leo strut yet again into the vault and take the cookie.
03-21-2011, 06:58 PM
Revenant awakens to find himself on a boat. He's dizzy, so he heads to the nearest bathroom. Uncontrollably nauseated, he throws up in the sink and stares into the mirror above it. It appears he has become a police officer named Teddy Daniels. Leaving the inside of the ship and going to the starboard back of the boat, he meets what appears to be his partner, Chuck. After some short dialogue, they arrive on an island where psychopaths and the criminally insane are housed.
Revenant loses his memory and accepts a reality that conforms with that of an inmate at this shuttered island for the insane.
I imagine you're wondering, how did he (me) do this? Simple, really. Having been undermined by Bobble's wily sci-fi crew, I decided to follow my rival vehemently, suspecting a further archenemy would appear to threaten my destiny of being the wielder of both The Cookie and The Pineapple. I watched for years in waiting, and finally my opportunity came forth when Revenant foolishly Leo-hacked his way into the impermeable vaults of both Bobble and Ouker.
I knew what I had to do. I used my Neo jacket - which I have been wearing all along - and a learned Leo strut - I was watching Revenant's masterful dance with the utmost vigilance - to create a dimensional rift (I learned how from the Dalai Lama). Using said rift, I thrust Revenant into another reality (the aforementioned one) while simultaneously nabbing the cookie.
Still, I knew that if one of those cretins who were after my cookie were to have my Tibetan pineapple, all that I had done would be for naught. Not to mention, I f**king love pineapples. Last I had seen of the legendary pineapple I received from the Dalai Lama for closing the cookie and The One Ring into a dimensional void was when it was in the hands of the daring Ouker, who repossessed the vault Bobble's epic science team had created.
I knew I had to move quickly, so I drew a ritual circle on the ground, took a dozen of perfectly-symmetrical alabaster rocks and my prized set of spherical diamond-cut balls (of which there are 8), arranged those around the circle, and proceeded to conjure up my old friend, Death:
After some cheerful hellos and foreboding exchanges directed at my future, Death himself decided to undertake the mission I summoned him for: the raiding of Ouker's vault. Slaughtering all the dogs, humans, ninjas, obstacles (he de-existed them), Death marched calmly into Ouker's vault, and I followed suit.
However, Ouker had apparently learned of his arrival earlier than I expected, for he had prepared well; yielding two pineapples, one in each hand, Ouker lashed out in a flash against Death. Death knew he was no match for a double-pineapple-wielder, so he sacrificed himself to time-freeze Ouker for a minute (the most any demigod can do against a pineapple user). Taking my only chance, I discovered which of the two pineapples was the legendary one. I ate the other and thrust the Tibetan pineapple in my mouth once more.
Death's accomplishments, however, had disappeared - all the obstacles, guards, and angry dogs had recovered from their removal from this world, and they now stared ferociously at me (the wall of the vault looked especially angry). What they didn't realize was that I now had a mother-****ing pineapple. I quickly annihilated them, leaving only blood and dust in my wake.
I rose to the heavens, pineapple clutched in my jaws, and found God Himself. I told Him of the plight of the cookie and pineapple, and He Who Controls All decided on a merciful exchange: were I to give Him the pineapple, He would seal the cookie within Himself, leaving it eternally outside of time and space.
I paused long and hard: would I really give up the most delicious of pineapples just to protect this cookie? The answer came swiftly. With a graceful "**** that", I took the cookie and hurled it down into the depths of the Earth, where Satan took it and ate it, leaving it stuck in the abyss that is the fallen angel's wrathful insides. God then damned me to Hell, to which I said, "I challenge you to a duel!"
God was very displeased at this yet He also seemed bemused. He agreed, saying I had ten minutes to prepare. Silly noob, I thought, that's far more than enough time. Using all the force of the pineapple, I summoned a summoner that summoned for me a circle of pure light. In that light, I tossed the pineapple, and Chuck Norris then emerged.
God of course self-destructed, for Chuck Norris is God and the two cannot exist without being one. Conceding defeat at my brilliantly executed plan, Chuck Norris (God) decided to reward me with a divine pineapple.
Once more, I took the pineapple to my teeth, briskly chomping into its inner lusciousness. Ah, I had come into victory, so sweet and supple, like a 23-year-old, tan Mexican housemaid. I flew back down to Shutter Island, where I proceeded with the lobotomy of Teddy Daniels. Afterward, I slept with his wife, who is great in bed, moans very loudly, and promises to be with me forever. Later in the day, I walk around my private island, where I house my human test subjects, all of which are slaves to me by the powers of psychology, microchip-implants in the brain, and a little drug I call LSD.
03-21-2011, 07:00 PM
I eat your face and take the cookie huehuehueheuhehueheuhehuqhehqueuhqeh
(I'll make up a decent story next post)
03-23-2011, 01:29 AM
I use one of my Brazilian inmates to ahuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue the cookie back from Revenant, but Satan quickly devours my slave, knowing full well the cookie rightfully belonged to him now (it is in the hands of the Brazilian inmate, inside the living evil of Satan) and that Brazilians are bound for hell anyway. (JP)
03-24-2011, 03:21 PM
Im struck for laziness here so... I'll do this quick.
I tell :scou: he gets :Codex: level 5 if he steals cookie from hell. He dies. But then he takes the cookie (because he wants that :Codex:) with awesome :scou: overcarry :Doombringer: skills and then respawns just in time. Gives me cookie.
NOW, time to return to my Limbovault, upgrade it to be anti-Leo'd, not to mention Keanu and Charles are defending it too.
Next post better be quality so I'll feel like posting quality too again.
03-25-2011, 04:17 AM
I present ouka with a page out of the manga Kodomo no jikan, he then dies from a massive nosebleed cause by the utter loliness of the page, i then put the cookie in my hockey jock
03-25-2011, 11:23 AM
I feed your hockey jock poisoned maple syrup and he dies. I take the cookie and teach it to fend for itself, spawning an epic movie trilogy with rave reviews from critics. 3 years pass, and I finally let the cookie free, knowing that it will finally be safe from anyone's grasps. Yes, the ways of the illusoryLeostruttaekwonkaratechucknorrisjesus style are quite ferocious.
03-25-2011, 11:47 AM
Dudes, Blueflash and Revenant. Do not ignore parts of previous posts, hear me?
Top secret, I never get nosebleed from anything. Not even spontaneously.
Alas, the cookie become quite the warrior itself. Or so Revenant hallucinates. Indeed, the limbo has caused the poor people to hallucinate. They can't be that weak, considering they stay alive without oxygen and merely see things that aren't.
The cookie hasn't moved from it's spot. The great Bobble-vault, in honor of the warrior who built the vault for defense of the ancient cookie. Leo is leisurely strutting around the outskirts of the vault, unable to strut in due to immunity systems, seems they work.
Keanu is sad that he is one of the only ones granted the ability to breathe the illusory oxygen that fool the body, but cause no damage whatsoever. He eats some chicken, and some ordinary pineapples, that I just got from the real dimension. I don't think I got the magical one anywhere, I don't remember who's got it anymore. No way to counter it. Expect Charlie Sheen who is also guarding the vault. I don't remember his motives, but it had something to do with that night where :scou: accidentally died to overconsumption of :Codex: heated :HealthPotion: and dropped his :Doombringer:s and I got them. Charlie Sheen is winning them one day, when I decide the cookie is no longer able to be stolen from my clutches again.
But as the science team of The Great Bobble seem to be working on a new project, perhaps, and Vexium's inhuman science team seem to be doing some unnatural tests, I believe I need a new ally. And such, I search the Newerth for fresh blood unable to understand the direness of this war. I then meet :trem:, someone I haven't seen before yet. Along him, I get :pest: and :arac: to join the defense. I don't expect them to be reliable, what with being bugs, so I leave some RAID onto my awesome HoNning room inside the vault. I am relaxed now, as the times are quite lax with all the minor conflicts. The next one shall be great, for sure.
I send the hallucinatives out of my limbo by forcing them into rifts, and sending them to their homes. I prepare a plenty of coke :Bottle:s to wait for the next intruder, playing some HoN. Im sure :trem: and :pest: and :arac: will be more than enough to take out people, but if not, my dear Keanu and Charlie will keep them busy till I finish my game and enter the brawl.
The cookie remains in the near-unbreakable chamber, in the limbo.
03-25-2011, 11:53 AM
F*ck this ****, I hack into the limbo-matrix mainframe and delete the cookie from said "unbreakable" vault. The cookie is at last free from it's terrible master, and yet deletion caused it to reappear anywhere at anytime. I sigh in relief knowing that the cookie is, at last, free.
This thread is now about the epic search for the cookie (space AND time)
I'll give a hint: why so...serious?
03-25-2011, 01:04 PM
F*ck this ****, I hack into the limbo-matrix mainframe and delete the cookie from said "unbreakable" vault. The cookie is at last free from it's terrible master, and yet deletion caused it to reappear anywhere at anytime. I sigh in relief knowing that the cookie is, at last, free.
This thread is now about the epic search for the cookie (space AND time)
..... It seems someone didn't realize who's the Master of the Limbo. After a 6-hourly check on the chamber, I realize that The Cookie has gone. I sense a huge disturbance, something has happened here thro a mythical system. I can't sense The Cookie anywhere. I was worried. Someone else must have known the secrets of the Limbo? No, that wasn't possible, only the first inhabitant to be rifted in, Me, could have known that.
Then what had happened? I ponder this very thing, but suddenly The Cookie returns on it's rightful place. I try to touch it, but it immeaditily causes a major shock on my body. I fall down, and after a few ten seconds, I can move again. This Cookie... What has happened to it?
Then I remember. The most valuable part of my ultimate defense system; the Plotdevice. The Cookie was, after a 12-hour voodoo mediation, protected from all effortless, planless snatches. It seems to be bugged though, I believe it gainst the essence of a random hero of Newerth each time it's brought back due to an effortless effort. Im sure the power withing must belong to the :corr:.
The Cookie is different in other ways too. Mostly something that I should have noticed first... It's cut in half. How? It's indestructible. It couldn't do that in normal circumstances, not even in Limbo. Maybe, just maybe, there was a hack in the Limbo, and it caused malfunction to the cookie. That evil bastard. If it weren't for the Plotdevice, The Cookie would have been succumbed by it's mere meaningless existence, that nearly no one cared about.
People need to care. The cookie is sad and corrupted. At least half of it.
Where is the other half? Perhaps lost in space and time. Perhaps, the only way to restore the true cookie, is that a hero brought the other part to me. We could reconstruct it, if a science team of either the hi-tech or the psychologists would aid us. I would merrily give the cookie to the one who brought the other part. Temporarily, anyway.
*Plotdevice protects The Cookie from all posts that didn't take near any effort*
I'll give a hint: why so...serious?
Because this thread was awesome until you came.:legi: Bobble hasn't been back for a while either, sadly.:bubb:
03-25-2011, 01:14 PM
i eat a pineapple
03-25-2011, 01:18 PM
i eat a plotdevice
03-25-2011, 01:23 PM
Plotdevice grants protection from your foolish posts :vind:
03-25-2011, 01:35 PM
Son of a bit-*explodes*
03-25-2011, 02:18 PM
*cleans up the bits of Revenant. I can see a piece of, I dunno, maybe a lung, that resembles this beast:*
03-25-2011, 03:47 PM
i eat another pineapple
03-25-2011, 04:50 PM
i eat some cookies
03-25-2011, 06:29 PM
Bobble:bubb: where are you? Come save this thread already.
03-27-2011, 05:58 PM
While doing my ordinary patrol around Hellbourn's jungle, you know that, placing wards, looking for nice oppurnity to counterward etc, i came to my favourite spot. Spot, where mystic Tablets, granting to the one who touch them first special powers, appear once in a while. Its said that they are sent from special place, called Limbo. I was a bit tired, and scrathes were clearly visible on my body, but luckily, green Tablet called Tablet of Regeneration suddenly appeared in front of me. I cheered and happily touched that green, mysterious thing. My scars suddenly dissapeared, and i felt refreshed. So i walked up, into territory of our enemy - Hellbourne. I went there just to feed that little creatures of wild, making them a little stronger and ready for fight with evil Hell's forces.
But suddenly, i heard strange sound. "pingpingpingping" And then roar of rage. Then i finally saw our mighty Legionare fighting solely with 4 heroes from Hell. It was clear that he has no chance of surviving this fight. I rushed there, to him and started channeling my special powers, to stop time and space, and change his position with mine, and vice-versa. It was my only chance of saving him. When i almost finished preparations for that epic save of our beloved Legionaree, i suddenly heard loud "Silence...", which made me unable to finish it. I jumped right into the fight, warping some small meteorits upon the face of those evil "heroes", and when that strange magic-silencing thing wear off me, i even warped one hell-of-a comet right on top of them. But it was too late. It was clear that Legionaree will not make it out alive. His last words changed my life forever. "Please, Miki. My quest is now bearing upon you. Please, find The Cookie, and save it from its eternal damnation. Please. Find. The Cookie." I could'nt say no, could i? "I promise to you, mighty Legionaree, i will find, and save The Cookie. Saving things is what supports are for, right?". Then, a glacier suddenly froze him, and beast of Hell shattered that glacier into pieces.
I barerly made it out from there alive. Luckily, a red tablet, called Tablet of Haste, was waiting for me on "that spot". While i runned into safety of our Well of Life, a loud sound has scared the birds in our jungle. "RAGE QUIT..."
When i finally made it into our well of life, i saw there Legionare's items laying on the ground. His helm, his boots, and his diary. I still couldnt get his last words from my head. "Save The Cookie.".
On that diary was a big yellow exclamation mark. As i oppened the diary, i heard a strange "whush", and then only screams and cursing of Ophelia that was pushed about 10 meters forward. I lol'd and then started reading the diary. First page was only "U MAD?", but then, things started to get interresting.
Dear diary, this was reaaly strange day... I had vision today, it was about a cookie? I mean really? Was it really, a cookie?. Hm, nvm... I think i'm getting old. That cookie was talking to me. Wait, talking? What the **** did i just wrote there? Never mind.
(btw, they really should finally invent paper here... This stone tablet... blah..) That Cookie looked sad. And there was only half of it. This vission filled me with strange feeling. I am sure that i HAVE TO save it. Somehow. Sad cookie is not a goot thing, right? And tbh, that Minotaurs meat taste awfull... (And i'm not gonna talk about that Snotters one... Bleh..). It could use some change... Hmm, cookie.
So, today, i told Ophelia to not talk to random creeps she walk onto in dark forrest, and rather get back to kitchen and make us some cookies. Later on, i ate all the cookies. That NightHound's child started crying when i charged there and ate them all, but hes such a noob... He dont deserve any!
Mmm, 6 PM, date with Nymphora near secret shop. Mm, i cant wait :P. This will be aawesome night. And her manly face is mm....
Even that my Cooke-desire was fullfilled yesterday, that sad-cookie vission is still hunting me. I have to do something about that. I have to save it. Poor cookie... *rest of this page is soaking-wet and unreadable*
Today, that cookie told me its in some kind of Limbo? Limbo? hmm, could it be the one our Tablets are comming from? I have to do some research about it.
Hmmm... I'd love to get some bannanas now... *I remmeber that day... We killed mighty Kongor 3 times... He(Legi) told us that its for greater good... That Kongor will be gone forever, and we will never have to deal with him killing our creeps... ****ing liar...*
I camped Tablets for like whole day today. I noticed a strange thing when you attack them. The somehow strangly inplode - exactly reversed animation of them appearing. Maybe i can get into Limbo that way.
Yes, succes. I managed to send my friend, Myrmmidon into Limbo.
Strange... I saw Hellbourn preparing some kind of strange ritual... Necromancy... What? They raised Myrmidon as undead... So, he died there, in Limbo?
Today, i sent Glacius into Limbo. Lets see if hes more succesfull...
Ehm... GLACIUS IS ****ING TRAITOR! I SAW HIM JUST WALKING TO HELLBOURNE, TALKING ABOUT SWITCHING SIDE. Yes. That will do. No-one know anything.
No... I cant take it... Tomorow, i will... I will run into some random Hellbourne noobs, and get yourself killed. Only that way i can get rid of that Cookie thing haunting me. Time to pass my quest onto someone else... Bye cruel world of Newerth, full of raging tards and noobs. Legionaree will be no more... No one, will get the axe...
Eh... So, there IS a way of how to join Hellbourne... Eek, i mean... Ee.. Get into Limbo. Right.
I pinged Regen rune few times, shouted that famous DoubleDamage rune has spawned. Chipper rushed to me, and when he reallized that its ONLY A REGEN, he was mad. He called me noob, tard, idiot etc, and then madly autoattacked our poor regen. I leaped into it. Thats last thing i remmeber.
I woke up on strange planet, or what it was. There wasnt any oxygen here, but that was OK for me. I'm not from Newerth or Earth, you know. But Newerth is, interesting.
I could sense it. Cookie is near. It was really near.
Cookie, fear not! Mikina is here to save you... Just, not at this moment.
03-27-2011, 06:01 PM
This thread is finally back on track.
03-27-2011, 08:14 PM
I become the cookie.
03-27-2011, 08:42 PM
wow Gohka. wow.
03-27-2011, 11:04 PM
Revenant becomes the Pineapple.
03-28-2011, 01:03 AM
It was a cold, chilly night in Miami, with a ominous breeze pressing through the evening skies, as if it were calling something out to the entire coastline of the city as it rushed in with the evening tides. "Cookie. Cooookie." It was all I seemed to hear, though everything around me was silent. After a Tom Collins with my Cuban co-worker, Eric, I was feeling both queasy and easy. I'm not sure which was more prevalent, but events as of late had me worried.
After my fateful encounters with Bobble and Ouker in Limbo, Charles Manson and Charlie Sheen in a chocolate factory, and Chuck Norris himself, I had returned to my CSI team with sunglasses and pineapple in hand. Everything should be right in my world, but still a yearning cut deep into my heart like a young boy at his first pinata party, where he beats up his best friend for the last piece of candy. I still craved that damn Cookie.
It was in the middle of fornication with my weekly Salsa dance instructor that I realized this. I pulled out of her right before climax and told her more important things were at hand, and that I'd see her next week when I pass by the strip joints looking for tips on suspects. I promptly gave her the boot and started pacing around my loft. I couldn't shake that feeling that the Cookie was somehow near me, within my grasp.
I ate a spare pineapple and thought things over. Last I heard, the cookie had returned to Limbo from its hellish confinement. I was kind of sick of that place what with its lack of air and constant gray skies and generally bad weather, so I didn't want to go back there again. I decided I needed some consultation on how to summon things directly out of Limbo, so I went to a website that my team regularly databases IPs for dangerous persons, 4chan.org.
Shortly following my discovery of a new cooking recipe called Cheesy Bacon Soup and my scribbling of it on a notepad, I found a post about how to summon things from the netherworld. There was also some weird pictures of naked, furry creatures, but I ignored those and read on. Apparently, skeletons are made of petrified wood and the skin of a pre-teen child - summoned with a circle of bones of course.
Anyway, I eventually found what I needed. I busted out my Summoner's kit and threw on a second pair of sunglasses. I arranged five gold busts of Leonardo DiCaprio and six Oscars of the Academy Awards in a circle, drew a sketch of Christopher Nolan's face as the base, and began the ritual.
I look back on those last ten minutes prior to the summoning with awe. Did I know what was going to happen? Did I realize the hell I was about to unleash upon the world? I don't think I gave two shits, but now I did. Standing before me was a giant scaly, wet beast with a thick, slabby tail and dorsal fins like that of a swordfish lining his back. Even Steve Irwin would have shat himself by now, but I stood nonchalant, as per my norm.
Realizing the desperation of the situation and wanting to look my best for diplomatic efforts with this savage from another dimension, I put on a third pair of sunglasses.
"Well, hello there, sir," I say with barely any effort and great pauses between phrases. He responds by snarling, looking uglier, and turning into a bigger version of himself sans tail and more dragon-like appearance. He also broke the roof of my loft, and his head impaled my neighbor upstairs whilst in his bathtub. That's cool though, I hated that guy anyway.
Looking down at his monstrously big feet, I quickly notice something that brings me instant joy. The Cookie had transported with this silly reptile-humanoid thing. Popping the collar of my Neo jacket and donning a pineapple in my jaw, I thrust forward and grab the Cookie before he could say "raragaflglfgaa," which is at best the only thing he could say.
I run away quickly, because the second I nab the Cookie the dude starts ripping through my place. I turn around to see how close he is, and I see something else, something fiery and made of pure molten lava on top of where I was summoning. I jump through my window, breaking through the glass and slide smooth-like down the side of the wall of my Playboy-style mansion.
Sprinting down the shores of the nearby beach, away from the house, I turn for a second while I catch my breath to see whether or not the demonic creatures were giving chase. Instead, I see my whole mansion in flames, melting to the ground, and a tidal wave approaching. The sea beast arrives in a flash, appearing from within the giant wave. Thankfully, I brought with me a fourth pair of sunglasses that have mirror tint, so I put them on and stare intently at the creature while standing poised, with both hands on my hips. A sun ray catches onto the tint, and in an instant, the creature explodes as the light reflects onto him.
I enjoy a quick laugh and another bite of pineapple, but turning back towards my house, I see yet another monstrous figure emerge from what is now the smoldering ashes of my beautiful sex palace.
Well ****, I think, I believe religious folk call this the apocalypse. I didn't really care, though, so I just chill on the beach and enjoy my pineapple while petting the cookie.
I hit the button called plot device, then hit the fast forward button. I now have the cookie in my possession, for some reason.
03-28-2011, 01:24 AM
I ****ing stab you and take the Cookie back. You bleed to death, miserable and alone. Nobody comes to your funeral, because we clicked the fast forward button.
03-28-2011, 09:25 AM
I ****ing stab you and take the Cookie back. You bleed to death, miserable and alone. Nobody comes to your funeral, because we clicked the fast forward button.
+1 Cookie - given to ShadowExile by the server
I now have a cookie.
03-28-2011, 05:03 PM
I laugh pitifully as the people struggle on the earth for The Cookie. The Plotdevice has been acting up recently, so I removed some features, including fastforward, and just left the protection against plotless action. Then I thought, heck, shouldn't I check that The Cookie is safe? It's not like it's stolen, but just in case. So I open the chamber of The Cookie, and what do I see: It's gone. Where did that go? On top of that, one of my greatest mutated abominations had gone missing. First, I believed Charlie Sheen or Keanu Reeves ate it, but then I remembered how it tastes like Rebecca Black's Friday and shoved the idea. Someone has been playing Rift on MY Limbo, that was the only choice.
I then think, "Who the heck has it now? There's quite a few possible criminals that would go for the heinous act of taking The Cookie from safety to be war-material in Earth." I start a journey on Earth, using my Limbo as a checkpoint to travel from and to places. I check places like where Bobble's science team is, but it seemed pretty deserted and lazy, so I knew they weren't up to anything... Or maybe they took it and are now taking it easy? Not on my watch!
I infiltrate the sciencelab, but of course, I had to kill a few scientist who accidentally spotted me. I used magnets to do so, because that way it would be ironic, since Bobble's scienceteam, perhaps led by :doct: knew how magnets work. **** that though. I search the place around, finding nothing. I believe they are just on a vacation... I pay my respects to the fallen scientist, by leaving a magnet and a flower next to each, which was a hell of a duty. I had to kill a few more scientists during that too, wasn't funny.
I then returned to Limbo to do some planning. But this time, I was more focused on the rift process, rather than The Cookie, so then I realized; there's a total of at least 4 rifts used here, including my own. What the hell, have people really advanced this far, to my grim gray planet? I traced one of them, and returned home, there, I saw someone. Definetily not from Earth, nor Newerth, nor even the Limbo. She was quite goodlooking, but seemed to be spacing out right now. I couldn't hurt her, as it was definetily a woman (seemed like that), and I was feeling quite flustered already, so I tried to sneak my way out without her noticing. But on that moment, I snap on the very same branch that The Great Bobble once stepped on, when he was first infiltrating my Limbo, good days. But on this, my heart actually jumps, somehow making me lose consiousness (or how it's typed). But before that, I memorize the rift that I now sense The Cookie from.
03-28-2011, 08:49 PM
03-30-2011, 11:53 AM
I rested for a while. Well, maybe a little longer than just a while... Next to me, was still that Regen Tablet that got me here. Into Limbo, if i remember correctly. The, tought about Cookie struck my mind, it was painfull experience. Cookie, cookie. That was all i could think about. I looked around, it was grey everywhere, and weather was unpleasing. Suddenly, i saw one big building. Awesome, shiny, new. It even had garden full of flowers. It was labelled "S2's Tablet Storage". Next to it was another building, kinda ruined and old. I didnt like the look of it. Label was saying "Rune Storage". There was another, comic-style drawn building. But it was empty, and abadoned. Label was covered in dust, almost unreadable. Only like few letters were visible. R and t.
I rushed into best-looking building, labeled Tablet Storage. I entered there, and almost couldn't speak. I was amazed. There was like about 42 milions of Tablets. It was Tablet paradise, Tablets were happily runing around, and jumping into some kind of a worm-holes. Every hole was labeled with a number. Something along the lines of 34456324 etc. I was like: "Bubbles. BUbbles. My Bu... eh.. I mean... Tablets. Tablets. My Tabltes!".
After about 40 mins of running around, and touching every Tablet that wanted to jump into newly-created wormholes (No 00:00 Tablet for you guys.), Cookie-symptoms struck me again. Yes, stacking 30 DD runes on myself was fun, but i have a Cookie to save! I was fortunate enought to carry 5 bottles and strides with me, so i bottled another 5 Invis Tablets that wanted to jump into new wormhole, and touched Haste.
I ludicrously speeded throu wastelands of Limbo and enjoying that near-light speed caused by Haste rune in Limbo (no 522 speed limit, yay.), I almost broke through wall of heavily fortified fortress, that suddenly appeared in front of me. Or so i tought - i really wasnt ready for lack of speed limit here. I just hissed that "Limbo is, interesting..." and looked around.
Walls. There were walls everywhere. And lot of Hell's monsters, but i wasn't able to recognize any, so they werent from Newerth. After doing some recon, i saw why was this area fortified more than Florence Prison. There was huge neon sight, saying "Cookie is MINE!". I shouted "Oooh" (Just like Simon do every time in Yogscast (http://www.youtube.com/user/BlueXephos)), liking the beauty and foolishness of this fortress.
I had a plan.
I channeled my warping power, and warped beautyfull Aurora right throu that fortress. I was able to see into Cookie-room, there was Charlie Sheen and Keanu Reeves. Then, i again channeled my powers to stop space and time, changed my position with Charlie Sheen, and then immidieatly activated one of my bottled Invis tablets. At least i now have slight chance of winning this Cookie. I looked at the throne, and realized that there is another person in this room, unconcious on his throne. I decided its better to not wake him up.
I had to quickly think off a plan to get rid of Neo. I AM made of 0 and 1, and i want them to stay in the order they are now in... But Cookie-mind-noise didn't allow me to think... I chuckled at the sign of Cookie-Worship shrine Ouker has here, and then saw one thing that shocked me. Cookie. Was. GONE. I was like "WTF?!?", which resulted in me getting suddenly out of Invis... I dont know who was more surprised, if me or Neo, but i reacted quickly. I again channeled my warping powers, to warp one big comet right upon Neos face. But in all this stress, i missed my warp target. Instead of comet, i accidentaly warped in strange spaceship. Neo and i was stunned by this sudden event, and we just stood there staring at this, so-called fastest ship in the galaxy.
Two stormtroopers, a tied wookie and two droids walked out from Falcon, and they were really surprised about what they see... I dont know why, but the small blue droid started beeping and wiggling, which resulted in one of stormtroopers throwing aside his helm and shouted while looking at me "So you are that Princess? Hm... I tought it was supposed to be harder... Nvm.. We still need to shut down that tractor beam!". Neo just shoke his head, and charged towards me, while changing into that green-matrix thingie, just to delete me. Second stormtrooper was abit faster, and unlike casuall stormtrooper accurate, which resulted in Neo being shot and killed right before he reached me. With Neo dead, there was no reason to keep this ship and those 2 guys that saved my life in Limbo, so i just warped them back into space. Unfortunately, i warped them onto Alderan, but few days earlier...
I realized that there is another person present in this room. I was afraid to look behind me, but when i did, he was still sleeping. And snoring, too. I searched around this room, finding only special shrine, with place for cookie, but it was empty... I wiped a tear from my eye, when suddenly heavy doors to this chamber oppened. Charlie Sheen was Winning his way throu fortress defences while i was fighting with Neo. I knew i had no chance of winning this fight, so i stunned Charlie with my beau... ehm.. i mean, with warped comet, quckly threw some wards all around this place, making sure no-one see me doing that, stacked some camps, and used my bottled invis rune. I just walked out from this fortress, because its deffence was recovering from heavy loss it experienced few minutes ago.
I arived into my basecamp in Tablet Storage, and found a safe place to rest, right in front of Tablet maker, labbeled "Rune 00:00 Spawner". Every rune that walked out from there, just stumbled over me, giving me its power :P. Cookie. Cookie. I was thinking about where it can be. Where?...
((btw, sorry for my english :D I know i suck at grammar. But i'm trying to do my best.)
03-30-2011, 04:36 PM
^well the biggest problem, imo, is missing some major points in previous posts (*cough* all that going all black right next to you somewhere in the Limbo, and NOT in the chamber room *cough*. I can fix that plothole easy tho.)
As I came to, I was feeling a little dizzy. Around me was all gray, and I thought, "I haven't gone colorblind or such, have I?" I stand up, and suddenly realize that im still in the Limbo. I try to recall what had just happened, but can't remember a thing. Funny, not usual or anything. I look around, not seeing The Great Vault of Bobble anywhere, but then, as I look a little more down, I see her again. That woman. It all comes back, and I panic. If I were to fight her, i'd stand no chance against my own principles. Luckily, she was STILL sleeping. I figure from that that I haven't been out long. I wasn't sure which way the vault was, so I just started running towards somewhere. After a mere 30 seconds, I notice a building that somehow has hid it's existance from me. It was labelled "The Tablet Storage". Someone is REALLY invading the space here, heh, space... No time for jokes, it's time to wreck this place, doesn't belong here!
So I charge inside, thinking it's time to have some combat, and preparing a :deadwood: punch, just in case. But the moment I barge in, I see the tablets. The tablets, I have heard, give out amazing powers to whoever is to pick them up. This place could be of great use to me in protecting The Cookie. And getting it back, that's for sure. Perhaps I could get the Pineapple back on the roll. But first, to make sure NO ONE could POSSIBLY enter this place... I set around quite a lot of sensor landmines. So the moment someone steps into here, the sensors activate, and laz0rbeam anything that hasn't been affected by a tablet, of course, I used a Regeneration Tablet on myself before. I found a weird stone inside too. I used it, and suddenly, after a moment, I found myself inside the Cookie Vault again. I need to destroy them if they take me here, someone else might use them, but no time for that yet... The Tablet place is safe from any steppy sneaky people. Just hope that woman doesn't hurt herself there...
I run back to the Tablet place like a boss, and again notice the woman sleeping there. Better not wake her up, might end up being a bad choice on my side. Looks dangerous, even though kind of cute, sleeping like that.
I take a bunch of Illusion runes, and then, using one of the wormholes, only using a small amount of Rift magics to direct it to the same place where I noticed The Cookie was taken earlier. My army of I is going to take the goods home today.
We emerge at the remains of some recently burned-down place. Must've been big, considering the size of ruins. I see a few dildos and other suspicious stuff, so I instantly know this is Vexium's place. Must've fought my Dinocyborgninjapiratesaur here, and... Maybe retreated? I didn't see it anywhere, but no signs of it dying here either. I call my "I army" to search all around the place for signs of The Cookie and The Pineapple. I decide to take the beach myself, sneakily just gonna lie around and relax for a while in this colorful world. I could sleep for hours, really, since the rift magic caused the illusions to be permanent.
I relax on the beach, looking at a few girls, haven't been able to do it in color for a while. But then, like a bat out of hell a sight strikes me. That dude, that dude with like 5 girls just to curl his toes. He has... The biggest amount of authority I've seen! I've gotta know that guy. I walk at him, like a boss, look at what kind of stuff the boss has on his table. On that moment, I get an even bigger shock, kinda like when :thun: was sucking at poker. The Cookie, or half of it to be exact, was there, sitting on the table, on it's own beachchair, with an umbrella and a really small drink. On the man, there was a pineapple, bit a few times. THAT MAN, THIS GUY. He is Vexium, I knew it. I think he didn't see me, so I just calmly retreated from him. He would kill me in 1 second for as long as he was holding that pineapple. I had to make a plan here. And quick. I took another glance at the guy, and it seems he was being given a lot of good "service" right now. Being a sneaky bastard, I tried to silently approach him, and then noticed that his eyes are closed. He must be enjoying what's happening right now. When I get close to him, I take the Cookie, use minor rift magic to teleport it anywhere in the Limbo, so I can get it later to safety. Then, I quickly, as quickly as I could, took the pineapple, and on that moment, I felt a huge hit on my chest, and got pushed back about 20 meters, but a 100 meters on height. I could keep the pineapple with me on the flight, and with a few breaths left, I drained the powers of my Illusions, just to have enough power to make a specifically quick rift to transport me to a safe place in the Limbo. As Vexium weeps for his loss on the beach, I travel to my home...
I hit the gray ground again. God, it's somehow relaxing to be here. Can't get sunlight on my eyes in a while, gotta enjoy it while I can. I check around, to make sure I hit the right place. Yup. Right inside my office room. Damn, im good at this! I wonder what had happened here now, while I was away. I go look around, and notice that Keanu's farm of creatures had increased in population by at least 3 times it's original. I congratulate him for succeeding in that, but he then shrugs off confused, and keeps eating that chicken he always eats. I go back to the vault doors, and notice that someone has opened it, heck, it's god a lot of winmarks all around. I go inside, and Charlie Sheen is sleeping, gawd that silly guy. Can't wake him up, wouldn't be good for this vault, can't make another one without Bobble anyway. I go inside to check it, and then I see all around me, some weird eye thingys. I think it's cause of the magic of the pineapple that I haven't been able to feel in such a long time, that I can see these. I expect them to be some weird protectors of the vault that I set when I was drinking with :engi: like a drunk boss. I leave them to be there, and go back to my office room. Whew, what a day of awesomeness. Time to sleep...~
03-30-2011, 09:52 PM
03-31-2011, 10:55 PM
Nobody ever knowing that I have been following all along, I take my chance and follow ouker into the rift. I then proceed to use Zinfu, the martial arts created by God and Chuck Norris, to destroy anything in limbo that is in my path to the cookie. I finally found the pineapple which I then took from Ouker. Unfortunately I woke Ouker in the process. Ouker used his rift powers to pull :pand: out of HoN to smash my face.
After :pand:'s face smash ended I then round house kicked Ouker into the 6th dimension took the cookie and put it into :pand:'s back pocket. Back to where the cookie started. I didn't have the cookie but my real goal was the pineapple, with which I took to my house and locked it inside my room.
04-11-2011, 04:01 AM
i kill :pand:, take the cookie, and proceed to revive this thread and the pineapple from limbo. nom nom
04-11-2011, 05:18 AM
(You may proceed to try, but the plotdevice is still in action. One does not simply "take" stuff from my Limbo Chamber, mentionably when it's not there Vexium :P)
Hah, some fool is trying to be Chuck Norris, but fails at it. Heck, why does he think that sending ME, of all people, to the 6th dimension would stop me? I got all my rift magic ready from the massive amount of rest. The plotdevice further maximizes the power, so I can simply use it to bring things back to where stuff made sense, as in, The Cookie and The Pineapple are back to my office room in the Limbo Chamber.
(And now besides... My powers are a bit better than just calling Panda and doing nothing myself. Read the thRead.)
04-12-2011, 02:15 PM
(Baaah :/ This thread just reminds me how laaazyy i am, every time i venture into OT... lol...)
04-12-2011, 03:01 PM
Using the power of my Neo jacket, I ****ing break Ouker's spine upon warping into Limbo. I then rape Nymphora, devour Devourer, and sterilize Wretched Hag. Using all 3 as my subservient mutations, I invade Ouker's vault, kill Charlie Sheen (once and for all), and I take my Pineapple and the Cookie.
I then warp into the Void, where the plot device button is. I ingest the entirety of my pineapple in one bite, forever lodged into my stomach. I use the force of sheer will to shatter the plot device, leaving this thread as it always should have been, filled with incessant and pointless one-liners.
I then Leo strut my way back to Miami beach.
04-12-2011, 04:59 PM
It was a nice thread until it ended...
I take The Cookie from you like a boss, you don't even have a chance to resist my pure compressed manlines of a 1000 :legi:s. The powers of Pineapple automagically transport to me because they see you as a man not worthy of the power. I stay in Miami Beach, nothing u can do.
04-12-2011, 05:20 PM
i have sex with ouker on the beaches. his manliness falters, as he was bottom. i reclaim pineapple and take many, many, many showers. idk what happened to cookie, because i left the beach and never looked back :|
04-12-2011, 06:48 PM
04-12-2011, 06:58 PM
I took my cookiedetector on zeh famous beach where vexium did ouker. I haz cookie now.
Put it in my chastity belt. Deformed the key of my belt and then ate it.
04-13-2011, 06:53 AM
Ok **** this, **** that, molested like a guy that's fat.
I crack your nuts and take your belt, then I wonder how bad the force really felt.
I think I should break it for the cookie, and that I did with the force of a wookie.
I decide to swallow the cookie as whole, too bad in my tummy it left a hole...
04-13-2011, 07:39 AM