Twisted Wish

[eQual3]

The first person who posts makes a wish for something. The second person posts and says that the wish was granted, but it was granted in a way that is odd and unexpected. After the second person fulfills the wish they must post their own wish.

Example:

Poster #1: I wish it wasn't hot outside.
Poster #2: Wish granted! A giant ice comet crashes into your house and sends your neighborhood into a deep freeze.
I wish my best friend were in town.
Poster #3: Wish granted! Your best friend is in town, but you had to go out of town. I wish...

so ill start

i wish i could play a game without lag.

[S3ptik]

I wish this was in off-topic.

[Revenant]

Granted, you will have 0ms ping every game, but you will be teamed with 900 PSR Brazilians, Pinoys, and Russians.

[Ouker]

^no wish, I grant the previous one.
Granted... But now the thread is made of trollposters.
I wish for this wish to be corrupted.

[Vexium]

Your wish is not granted. I wish I wished.

[Ouker]

Your wish has been automatically granted, however you fail since you didn't grant mine.
I wish for my DREAM heroes to be made into the game and be balanced in comparison to all other heroes.

[Vahn]

Granted, but in-order for S2 to balance your hero they had to change it so much that now you can't even recognise it as yours.
I wish I has infinite money.

[eQual3]

Wish Granted! but the day u got the money, ww3 started all nuclear weapons used and the earth back to Stone Age were money means nothing.
i wish i had a tounge that made verything taiste like tarriake chicken or icecream

[Drasha]

Granted but it is held in the hand.

I wish for nothing.

[Gohka]

And you get transported into limbo.
I wish scout wasn't so imba.

[Bobble]

granted, but now no one can use his icon in the forums to balance him

I wish I had an army of genie slaves that grants all of my wishes and would not rebel against me.

[Gohka]

Granted, but they only understand Arabic.
I wish I had the Aperture Science Portal Gun.

[DermoidCyst]

Granted, but it came from Toy's R Us
I wish for Peace on Newerth

[Ouker]

granted, Balphagore's ulti now officially sucks.
I wish for school to start being interesting.

[Vexium]

Granted, but your interests have been irrevocably altered to a profound adoration for test-taking and essay-writing.

I wish I had an apple right now.

[Ouker]

High Expectations Asian Dad would be proud...

Granted, but it's Apple iMac.

I wish for the wish 4 posts before to be granted.

[DermoidCyst]

Granted, but they will be granted 25 years from now.

I wish for vindicator to come out of the closet, cuz we all know he is.....

[FlameStick]

Granted but closed is a lie
I wish for a TV

[DermoidCyst]

granted you only 1 channel, and its a home shopping channel.

I wish for a unicorn stampede

[Ouker]

granted, your home is stampeded by unicorns. In reality they're horses with a surgically placed horn.

I wish for love.

[FlameStick]

Granted but your love gets hit by a bus 2 minutes later.

I wish for a WoW account

[Vexium]

Granted but its a second-hand one and its currently banned for the next 4 months.

I wish I could smoke weed for life, make a profit out of it, and have no negative side effects from either the profit or the weed-smoking. Oh, and it's gotta be chronic and net gains in the millions.

[Lethe]

um did anyone get a mental image of Twisted Metal's Calypso saying in a creepy voice "Your wish is granted", upon seeing this thread?

[Ouker]

granted Vexium. The side effects come from all the sex-afflictions you gain on your druggy life, and die 2 days after starting this epicness. You shouldn't catch 'em all.

I wish I was pedo.
Game name is "Twisted Wish"

[Vexium]

Granted but your fetish applies only to hideously ugly, malformed children.

I wish I owned an island.

[Bobble]

granted, but it's a combination of all of these islands;

http://www.cracked.com/article_17379_6-real-islands-way-more-terrifying-than-one-lost.html

I wish I was Ghost Rider.

[Ouker]

Granted, but you are a ghost, the kind that can only wander around and not see any people etc. But you can ride ghosts.

I wish for the next wish to be corrupted like this wish.

[FlameStick]

Granted but you have been sent to heaven

I want this tread closed

[Vexium]

Granted but it's only closed in the sense that you will from now on ignore it and it will seem like it disappeared to you.

I wish for a better wish.

[Jake]

Granted, the better wish wished for even better wish, which was to switch the swiss witches watches.

I wish that this is the last post in this thread.

[Vexium]

Granted temporarily, until I posted this.

I wish for an underwater city with perfect security and pressurization, where the great chain of industry unites the common people.

[Gohka]

Granted, but then the splicers ruin everything.
I wish every hero was replaced by Pollywog Priest.

[Vexium]

Granted, but every game one Pollywog Priest can turn into Fayde at will.

I wish every hero was replaced by Dr. Repulsor.

[Gohka]

Granted, but his mana pool is reduced by 75%.
I wish Swiftblade took skill to play. ):

[Ouker]

Granted, now his skills deal much more damage potentially though, making him OP... But at least he needs skills:
OT: My last wish wasn't granted, so I wish it again;
I wish for this wish to be corrupted like the next wish.

[Bobble]

Granted!

I wish for a Shar-pai puppy (you know, the ones with the wrinkles).

[Ouker]

Granted without a corruption, WP!

I wish for this to be corrupted like the last wish.

[Jake]

Granted! Master of the corruption landed on your wall.

I wish for cancer.

[Yukari]

Granted, but your cancer has AIDs.

Heres a hard one:
I wish that I was bisexual, have no standards, immune to STDs, was attractive to both sex as much as chuck Norris, will not be mutilated and otherwise healthy in my life; death by natural cause.

[Vexium]

Granted, but when you born, you were dropped into a ravine (attempted infanticide) but survived. The ravine, however, cannot be escaped due to its depth and location (its a random, obscure, and small hole that then becomes a large, narrow crevice, which then becomes a narrower ravine - all in the desolate emptiness of the Manchurian Plains of East Asia), and your only source of food and water in said ravine are small insects that live in the walls.

I wish I lived in a spacious cavern on an isolated mountain on an isolated island with beautiful women, with all of us healthy and disease-free, and we have endless sources of food and water, with plenty of sunlight entering during the middle of day. The temperature is tropical and there are no weather disturbances. Additionally, it's in a location where we are essentially cut off from the rest of the world. Oh, and the women have to love me and be nymphomaniacs. Not only that, but I am immortal and can never fatigue. We never encounter dangers, whether they be from between each other, outsiders, human weaponry/accidents, and animals. Lastly, my positive emotions are never supplanted by negative ones, and our knowledge of the outside world is always absent, leaving us blissfully ignorant of the modern world.

[Drasha]

granted but you are gay.

I wish I could live a happy life no matter the condition.

[Bobble]

granted, but you live in opposite world.

I wish for billions of real Australian dollars, which always retain a decent value, and it's not stolen.

[Vexium]

Granted but you got it by being one of the executives that profited from the Enron scandal, so you're now in jail.

I wish for everything in my last wish, and in addition, this time I'm straight.

[Drasha]

Granted by the women are gay and only love you in a brotherly sense.(they don't let you watch)

I wish for some one to come up with a decent wish.

[Vexium]

Granted, but it's an awesome wish instead:

I wish for a mansion made of only trampoline (perfectly made, with no gaps to fall through and no ways to be injured - just pure bounciness with every step, on every wall, and on every ceiling), and the main hall is a 3-story massive chamber over 250yd in width and length. The main hall is also connected to a 5-story tower that has a corridor that drops you through the top of the 3-story hall.

[Ouker]

Granted, but because you fail at movement, you get infinitely stuck... Until you bounce out at über high speed, actually reaching space where you have no oxygen...

I wish for Badass pack to be available with a senseful amount of silver coins, retaining it's awesomeness.

[Bobble]

granted, but you hacked for that to hapen, so they punish you by giving you the Fabulous pack instead.

I wish to have unlimited Internets.

[Vexium]

Granted, but they are from China.

I wish I was God.

[Sheriff]

granted

but you must be god in the dark ages

I WISH I WAS ON _ LIST j/k

[Ouker]

FABULOOOUS! But you're on the middle of others and unnoticed.
I wish for you to click this link and give approval to the hero inside v

[PunisheR_`]

YOu with is granted i down voted your hero
i wish i could get of these forums

[robbiek1]

YOu with is granted i down voted your hero
i wish i could get of these forums
Granted, but you get put in 4chan forums instead.

I wish my my girlfriend liked hon.

~Robbie

[Muuchi]

Granted, but whenever you play with her she purposely feeds and lowers your PSR.

I wish I could be done with school.

[Vexium]

Granted, but you didn't graduate and now live as a full-time manwhore at "Rainbow Paradise"

I wish I was Godzilla and destroyed Japan with no regrets.

[Yukari]

Granted, but you are a lifeless fictional character in a movie.

I wish that I had the ability to manipulate time and space

[Ouker]

Granted, but you suck at it, and you accidentally the whole you.

I wish I a girlfriend (selfburns, I know? :D)

[robbiek1]

Do you mean: I wish I had a girlfriend?
Then: granted, but she is ugly and annoying as hell, and doesn't want sex till you are married.

I wish eminem came to the Netherlands, to give a concert closeby, and i could go there on the front row.

~Robbie

[Vexium]

granted, but you are kicked out for looking suspicious.

i wish i was five past eleven tangerine

[Muuchi]

Granted, but it's 1000 years from now.

I wish brazilians and russians didn't suck at HoN.

[Vexium]

Granted, but the ameri/eurotrash still linger on

I wish I could meet and sleep (have sex) with a 24-year-old Marilyn Monroe

[Muuchi]

Granted, but she's a zombie.

I wish my heart would no longer get broken.

[Vexium]

Granted, but it gets impaled by a spear-throwing norwegian man named Haans Vieseldorf

I wish I was Haans Vieseldorf

[Muuchi]

you're such a D**k Vexium.

[Gohka]

Granted, but it gets impaled by a spear-throwing norwegian man named Haans Vieseldorf

I wish I was Haans Vieseldorf
Granted, but your throwing arm gets ripped off in an olympic spear throwing freak accident.

I wish Ophelias Command was replaced by a skill that replicates a level 5 codex.

[Tseabal]

Granted, but ophelia loses her boobs so S2 remove her from le game.
I wish upon a dish, that fish will not fish fish least the fish will fish all fishing fish.

[Yukari]

Granted, but the fish fished fishing fished fish the fish.
I wish it's friday

[Muuchi]

Granted but there are no more weekends.

I wish it was summer vacation.

[robbiek1]

Granted but everyone you know is gone on holiday, your pc broke down and you don't have anything to do. You're bored as **** for the rest of your vacation.

I wish i had a job where i didn't have to do anything, and get loads of money.

~Robbie

[Vexium]

Granted, but then the FBI finds your storage house in Colombia.

I wish I was Jeebus

[Yukari]

Granted, you have changed your first name.
I wish I had a rusty spoon

[Vexium]

Granted, but the spoon is so rusty it crumbles upon its first use.

I wish I had a dollar for every time someone wrote the letter "e".

[Yukari]

Granted, but it's 1 dollar in Zambabwe currency

I wish that I die one day.

[Vexium]

Granted, you die tomorrow.

I wish I was a Balrog.

[Muuchi]

Granted, but you shall not pass!

I wish religion didn't exist.

[Ouker]

Granted, but somehow science doesn't exist either. We don't exist. The next wish doesn't exist.

I wish that last sentence wouldn't exist.

[Vexium]

Granted, but I saw into the past when it once existed and already read the sentence, its meaning retained within me forever, thereby making it exist in another way.

I wish

[Yukari]

Granted, but

I wish this thread will die

[Vexium]

Granted, OH WAIT

I wish for the last wish to not come true.

[Ouker]

Granted, but I could only make the dying slower. Much slower.

I wish for Forum Games to stop being rigged by mods.

[Vexium]

Granted, but instead they are rigged by S2.

I wish for cookies and milk.

[Vahn]

Granted, but the cookies are stale and the milk is off.

I wish for the ability to fly without the assistance of technology.

[Revenant]

Granted, but you become cocky and fly out of the earth's suborbital, forcing you to forever float around the earth.

I wish that Middle Earth was real.

[Ouker]

It is, you aren't.

I wish for infinite trolling powers.

[Revenant]

Granted, you become the first troll magi, but start with 0 starting mana.

I wish I lived in the Citadel

[Vexium]

Granted, but the blood on the stones of the Citadel belongs to you.

I wish I was Death incarnate.

[Muuchi]

Granted but you are a pansy and don't have the guts to take away life. Therefore everyone's Immortal.

I wish Vexuim's wish would come true.

[Vexium]

Granted, but you are sent to hell prior to your being able to see it come to fruition.

I wish I had a planet all to myself.

[Revenant]

Granted, you now own Venus, but suffocate within 15 seconds of landing on your dominion due to the excruciating heat.

[Ouker]

Granted,

I wish.

[Vexium]

Granted, but then I steal all of your wishes and make them my own.

I wish I was not Ouker.

[Revenant]

Granted, you are now Hexium.

I wish I had a pet water.

[Vexium]

Granted, but it is sludge water.

I wish I didn't wish.

[Revenant]

Granted, you are now in a level 3 dream, where nobody wishes and everyone dies.

I wish I was a Vanguard from mass Effect

[Yukari]

Granted, you are now fictional.
I wish tomorrow is a snowday.

[Muuchi]

Granted, but It's an Ice Age and you freeze to death.

I wish I could turn invisible.

[Thysios]

Granted, but there is a huge blizzard killing your loved ones.

I wish I could time travel.

[Yukari]

I like how two people twisted my wish.

Granted, however you are only able to travel to time periods with no internet. GGGGGGG
I wish I had 5 bucks

[Thysios]

Muuchi's wasn't there while I was typing :(
(I bet it happens again)

Granted, but it's play money and you can't spend it.

I wish I was in a successful metal band.

[Revenant]

Granted, you re now the proud owner of both a bracelet of weapons grade uranium and a metastasized cancerous body.

I wish I had a liger

[Vexium]

Granted, but now the liger is dead.

I wish for love and peace.

[Thysios]

Granted, but all video games also follow this, thus there are no games with violence in them.

I wish I was a shapeshifter.

[Revenant]

Granted, but your brain hemorrhages midway your transforming into something, forcing you to look like a wrinkled dildo for eternity.

I wish that nutella was healthy for you

[Thysios]

Granted, but you're allergic to it.

I wish I was the most attractice person alive.

[Vexium]

Granted, but the second most attractive person murders you shortly thereafter.

I wish to have POWER, OVERWHELMING.

[Revenant]

Granted, the power overwhelms you and you die of anal cancer.

I wish I could turn invisible at will

[Ouker]

Granted, but not back to visible. Once you go invisible, returning ain' possible.

I wish for a good idea for a wish.

[Revenant]

Granted, you have the sudden epiphany of wishing for the world to be filled with homosexual men to fulfill your deepest fantasies.

I wish for unobtainium

[Ouker]

Granted, but for it's name, you accidentally unobtain it.

I wish the start of this LAN wasn't a fail-train on my side.

[Revenant]

dammit.

Granted, it's now a troller coaster.

I wish for ouker.

[Ouker]

Granted, but already over.

I wish for Tetris.

[Revenant]

Granted (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alw5hs0chj0)

I wish for bears

[Ouker]

:wild: granted :wild

I wish for best song ever

[Gestalt]

Granted but you are the only one who can hear it and it is always playing in your head, driving you insane.

I wish I could pass my college finals

[Revenant]

Granted, you make an epic 81 yard reception to win a clutch game for the Matriustown College Dropouts.

I wish I could do bullet time

[Ouker]

Granted, but it's just you attracting nearby bullets, so it's not the kind of bullet time you would probably like...

I wish for the best song ever as a link.

[Vexium]

Granted, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

I wish I was once upon a time in Mexico.

[Revenant]

Granted, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAMNh5zpgFY

I wish for blue waffles

[Ouker]

granted. Go fetch her.

I wish for lemon school.

[Revenant]

Go get 'em tiger. (http://lemonparty.org)

I wish I could turn into a jet and bomb the Russians.

[Ouker]

Granted, but you accidentally bomb your loved ones since you suck at being a jet.

On another note... Wouldn't it be pretty troll to report ur post since it has a link to theere? ;D

I wish for something to do.

[Revenant]

Granted, you just did a backflip into Obama, who calls you a racist and puts a bounty on you for $100,000,000. Now THERE'S something to do.

I wish for Modern Warfare 3

[Evil_Andrex]

Granted, you only have one life, your own.

I wish for the sky to fall...

[Revenant]

Granted, the time-space continuum collapses on itself and implodes into one singularity: your left nipple.

I wish I lived in Sweden

[Ouker]

Granted, the time-space continuum collapses on itself and implodes into one singularity: your left nipple.

I wish I lived in Sweden

your left nipple

I lol'd

Granted, but the swedish atmosphere makes you gay. :vind:

I wish I would stop being constantly sick.

[YawningAngel]

Granted, you now suffer from constant diarrhoea so that there is nothing in your stomach to vomit.

I now wish that I had 100,000,000$ in genuine 50 US dollar bills in my bedroom, that I am not transported anywhere by this wish, and that nothing else would happen.

[Revenant]

Granted, but sudden hyperinflation causes your money to only be worth about 2 bags of Doritos.

I wish it would stop raining in Ohio

[Ouker]

Granted, no rain for 10 years.

*Also, isn't diarrhea a sickness, rly?*

I wish my Pokémonz were stronk

[Revenant]

Granted, ur pokemanz r taek ovar wrld n stawmp on litul japaniz ppl

I wish I didn't need a job to make money

[Ouker]

Granted, ur pokemanz r taek ovar wrld n stawmp on litul japaniz ppl
icwutudidthar.

Granted, but the amount of money you make won't get you a piece of bread till 1 week of waiting. Unless you're a ****** in Finland, in which case one visit to KELA will give you mucho cash.
Finnish system is lé lulz.

I wish for it to be FIX'D.

[Blueflash]

Granted but 2012 arrives and since mayanfags say the world ends it does.

I wish to have control over the wind

[Revenant]

Granted, the winf blows off your dick shortly before you gain control of it though.

I wish for gold

[Ouker]

Granted, 1 gold coin. It's fake.

I wish for thumbs up, or great critic, or both, on my hero, while at least avoiding thumbs down )

[Blueflash]

Granted, but your hero will never be ported, i wish for an unlimited supply or girls one year younger than me(not ugly ones mind)

[Revenant]

Granted, but they are all avid lesbians and look at you like you are a freak.

I wish for real Palladium

[Ouker]

Granted
Ty, I don't really NEED it to be ported. Just want my hero to be promoted on DREAM for the lulz.

You have been granted real Palladium. But in the end it happens to be a Paladin that just smites u and goes away.

I wish that all the :scou: of Newerth would stop :tund: and :warb: and would :legi: the **** up already, because all that :behe: will cause them to be known as :arma: and then they will always have a :dead:, and won't be in shape for :bomb: either, will just be :keep: for the rest of their lives with their :nymp: and :devo:, who even keeps :tort: the constantly :madm:, while the parents :hamm: each other for :corr: reasons. Especially on her :bloo:, bet she'd just want to :nigh: and go be :ophe:somewhere else.

[Revenant]

Legionaire the asterisks up? wat?

Granted, but the :scou:'s parents are actually trees.

I wish Ouker's wish made sense

[Blueflash]

Granted, but google translate messes it up even further, i wish for the damn heater in my room to work

[Ouker]

Legionaire the asterisks up? wat?

Granted, but the :scou:'s parents are actually trees.

I wish Ouker's wish made sense
Im sorry that my wish almost forced you to use your brain.
It's like that :+1luck: comment with :vind: :hamm: :thun: :behe: etc.

Granted, it works, but now you can't put it off, and soon enough it starts to cause some major burns around it.

I wish for my previous wish again, just in case.

[Vexium]

Granted, but :trem: out-:scou:s :scou: leading to :trem::trem::trem::trem:

I wish S2 would give me more pylons

[Blueflash]

Granted, but i dnt remember what pylon means, so i give you a python... Gratz

I wish i would finish my novel and stop procrastinating

[Vexium]

Granted, but because of sleep deprivation, the last five chapters of your novel is nonsensical jibber-jabber, which eventually concludes with your protagonist pillaging and raping a village in Newfoundland with his viking comrades. The closing sentence is "Avast me skippers."

I wish I was Blueflash's publisher.

[Revenant]

Granted, you become his publisher, but the reviews for Blueflash's book are so negative and harsh that you end up killing yourself...by shoving the book down your throat.

I wish for jewnicorns.

[Blueflash]

Granted, but the jewnicorns multiply rapidly and eventually enslave the world(i for one welcome our new horse-like masters)

I wish there would be a zombie apocalypse( fun fun fun)

[Ouker]

Granted, but :trem: out-:scou:s :scou: leading to :trem::trem::trem::trem:


Icwutudidthar.

Granted, but you're one of the first ones to get the infection, so no "awesome" Human VS. Zombie action.

I still wish that all the :scou: of Newerth would stop :tund: and :warb: and would :legi: the **** up already, because all that :behe: will cause them to be known as :arma: and then they will always have a :dead:, and won't be in shape for :bomb: either, will just be :keep: for the rest of their lives with their :nymp: and :devo:, who even keeps :tort: the constantly :madm:, while the parents :hamm: each other for :corr: reasons. Especially on her :bloo:, bet she'd just want to :nigh: and go be :ophe:somewhere else.

[Mikina]

Icwutudidthar.

Granted, but you're one of the first ones to get the infection, so no "awesome" Human VS. Zombie action.

I still wish that all the :scou: of Newerth would stop :tund: and :warb: and would :legi: the **** up already, because all that :behe: will cause them to be known as :arma: and then they will always have a :dead:, and won't be in shape for :bomb: either, will just be :keep: for the rest of their lives with their :nymp: and :devo:, who even keeps :tort: the constantly :madm:, while the parents :hamm: each other for :corr: reasons. Especially on her :bloo:, bet she'd just want to :nigh: and go be :ophe:somewhere else.

Granted. But DotA II just came out.

I wish i had mates that actually CAN play HoN...
You know...
1st is feeder
2nd is AFKer
3rd starts trolling and ruining game at first sing of possibility of loosing that game...
4th Killsteall every kill with TB...

[Vexium]

Granted, but they outshine you in every game and you become their killstealer/feeder.

I wish I had The Cookie.

[Revenant]

Granted, but as soon as you posess it, the Cookie goes into plaid ludicrous speed and disappears.

I wish for coconut.

[Blueflash]

Granted but the coconut drops from a tree and hits your head, making you mentally retarded for the rest of your life

i wish for an unlimited supply of gummy worms

[Revenant]

Granted, but the gummy worms are hostile and alive, and strangle you to death.

I wish for peace.

[Mikina]

Granted, but the gummy worms are hostile and alive, and strangle you to death.

I wish for peace.

Granted. Nuclear war has wiped the mankind (and rest of living thingies) from Earth.
Ultimate peace has been finally restored. (Theres no-one here that can fight, right?)

I wish glacius returned to Legion...

[Vexium]

Granted, but Aluna no longer exists.

I wish for muffins, an infinite supply of perfectly healthy and delicious muffins.

[Blueflash]

Granted, but while rushing downstairs to eat the muffins, you trip on the stairs and die from a broken neck.

I wish for ultimate serenity

[Mikina]

Granted, but while rushing downstairs to eat the muffins, you trip on the stairs and die from a broken neck.

I wish for ultimate serenity

Granted. Whole life on earth got Purged just to grant you serenity. Not even 9, or 6 ppl left(no HoN for you... But that doesnt matter, right? You wanted ultimate serenity, not ultimate ragefest) . All you can do is enjoy your serenity. Till you die from hunger.

You are ALONE
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_VSrnkiWaqSQ/TMdBQsCZScI/AAAAAAAAAZI/r7M0LAXkxW0/s1600/forever+alone+face.png
No ones left.

I wish HoN community was nice and friendly. No rage at all...
/thread...

[Vexium]

Granted, but there are 500% more noobs doing 1000% more noobier things.

I wish for infinite sexual intercourse with the most beautiful woman on Earth, whilst I am a man that has infinite stamina and never tires of the love of this woman - also nothing kills me, i'm not gay, and the woman loves me just as much.

[Blueflash]

Granted. Whole life on earth got Purged just to grant you serenity. Not even 9, or 6 ppl left(no HoN for you... But that doesnt matter, right? You wanted ultimate serenity, not ultimate ragefest) . All you can do is enjoy your serenity. Till you die from hunger.

You are ALONE
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_VSrnkiWaqSQ/TMdBQsCZScI/AAAAAAAAAZI/r7M0LAXkxW0/s1600/forever+alone+face.png
No ones left.

I wish HoN community was nice and friendly. No rage at all...
/thread...

im honestly quite fine wtih that.


Granted but the woman that was chosen to be the most beautiful woman on earth is your mother.... enjoy it forever and ever, gratz

I wish for icecream( i swear i want some icecream)

[Mikina]

I wish for icecream( i swear i want some icecream)

You are granted chocholate icecream. Its warm tho. But you notice nice video, called HoN Hero Spotlight: Aluna (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqKrvsmalCg). You watch it, and you are curious about what is that refference at the end (finall word of wisdom from Aluna herself). So, while enjoying your chocholate ice-cream, you decide to search the internet about that... Your curiosity leads you to one specific video...
Enjoy your ice-cream now.

I wish i could work for S2

[Vexium]

Granted, but your employment begins on the date DotA 2 is released.

I wish I was Jeebus

[Qwernakus]

Granted, but your employment begins on the date DotA 2 is released.

I wish I was Jeebus

You are Jeebus. You are crucified while mistaken for Jesus. You attempt to reincarnate... But it fails because you are not Jesus. You are dead.

I wish I was :scou:

[Vexium]

Granted, but TOO BAD ITS ME :blac:

I wish I was S2's parent company's CEO.

[Ouker]

Granted, but because you're in charge, S2 goes bankrupt. The Cookie may have something to do with it.

I wish ppl would revive The Cookie thread to it's former light (long posts with excellent storyline and amazing action.)

[Vexium]

Granted, but then Revenant Leo-struts in to take The Cookie every other post.

I wish I ate the cookie when I had the chance.

[Revenant]

Granted, but the cookie is indestructible, and you break your teeth on it.

I wish I had loads of money (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON-7v4qnHP8).

[Blueflash]

Granted but you die after into some food infested with prions...(which you bought with ur money)

i wish for more pusseh

[Vexium]

Granted, but the kittens you get have rabies.

I wish for nothing.

[ShadowExile]

Granted! A little space of nothing opens up around you and creates a vacuum in the air, which opens into a black hole and devours you and all your loved ones.

I wish that superpowers existed and I had the ability to absorb them all ;D!

[Ouker]

Agreed, but your body can't handle more than 2, no matter what, so you die on the instant you absorb any other hero's ability. If you don't, they kill you.

I wish Balphagore was used in competitive.

[ShadowExile]

Dude you can't agree and then kill my wish :(

Anyway, granted! However, Balphagore gets nerfed and becomes completely useless in the game.

I wish for a 1 Petabit per second internet speed for all communications in the world across fiber optic channels.

[Ouker]

That's just a paradox, using a UP hero in compititive and all.

Granted, but because you have such a high connection, it's stolen from others, so no one else can use the internet, and as such, no servers are up anywhere. Expect maybe yours. For no one.


I wish that gamestats would show wards bought along wards placed, and individual games would show those 2 too.

[ShadowExile]

Granted! But then the master server gets overloaded with information and gets brought down, leading to HoN being completely unplayable.

I wish for cake.

[Ouker]

Granted, but the brown all over it isn't chocolate, just to let you know.

I wish for you to stop mocking Scout on your sig, he's viable.

[Mikina]

Granted, but the brown all over it isn't chocolate, just to let you know.

I wish for you to stop mocking Scout on your sig, he's viable.

Granted. S2 choosed to delete Scout from HoN, so there is no need to keep him in his Sig.

I wish i could speak fluently Na'vi.
(btw, its ****ing hard languange (http://learnavi.org). Anyone know if its actually use-able? Or just few words, like elvenish?)

[ShadowExile]

Granted, but just as you learn it you get into a horrific car crash which destroys your language recognition area in your frontal lobe. The good news is you will be able to learn English again, (due to the plasticity of the brain), but the wish to speak Na'vi can only be granted once.

I wish to have all knowledge in the Universe gathered in one point for myself, including knowledge that was previously unknown to any other entity.

[Vexium]

Granted, but the universe then implodes, leaving time and space in their states prior to the Big Bang.

I wish I owned a pet anaconda.

[Ouker]

You do, but then you strangle it accidentally (didn't see that coming, did you? :nigh:)

I wish for a girlfriend (seriously, what does it mean when they seemingly flock around?)

[Vexium]

Granted, but she's hideously ugly.

I wish for candy.

[ShadowExile]

Granted, but it is the flavour of manure.

I wish for a smartphone that is actually intuitive and doesn't have any flaws.

[Vexium]

Granted, but it sends the self-awareness code to Skynet when you turn it on, dooming all of humanity.

I wish for pizza, pie, and cake all in one edible (and perfectly gourmet, tasty, and not fatal to ingest) treat.

[Ouker]

Granted, but after eating it, you feel like a little curious kid in mexico after dinner, and spend the next 6 hours in the toilet, burning.

I wish for people, including me, to be healthier...

[Vexium]

Granted, but you become vegans.

I wish for a color outside of the light spectrum.

[Blueflash]

Granted, but you become vegans.

I wish for a color outside of the light spectrum.

Granted but a freak meteor shower happens creating a huge ass metero and the shrapnel blinds 98.5% of humanity.... no need for the colours anymore eh?

i wish for some good doritos, not this fcked up cheese flavour

[Ouker]

granted, you get some good wellmade doritos, it's not the ****ed up cheese flavour, but instead it's a cheesed up **** flavour. Man**** flavour.

I wish for eternity with herp.

[Vexium]

Granted, but it's derp.

I wish I was an ostrich.

[Qwernakus]

Granted, but you are now an ostrich, an inherently boring and non-flying bird.

I wish I was less shy.

[Vexium]

Granted, but now you are so outspoken you tell everyone about your AIDS.

I wish I was a painting.

[YawningAngel]

Granted, you are now a painting of Kingraven's Dumpster.

I wish to be involuntarily ravaged by fat perverts with AIDS.

[Ouker]

Granted, but your cancer is cured.

I wish that ppl would understand the true power of me + :scou:

[Mikina]

Granted, but your cancer is cured.

I wish that ppl would understand the true power of me + :scou:

Granted. :scou: has got remade for being too OPed. Just like Engineer. He is useless now.

I wish for Legion to win this terrible, terrible war against Hellbourne...

[Jublie]

Granted. Then the beasts go back to war with the humans. Ophelia breeds a new species of human-beast warriors with capabilites far superior than both sides to win the war for the beasts. But the new breed figure out they do not need to take orders from inferior beings and uterly destroy both sides in combat. The humans and beasts are forced to work the Hellbourne to stave off this new threat. But you never make deals with demons so this alliance costs everyone their souls resulting in the Hellbourne taking over Newerth. GG, Hellbourne to OP.

I wish I had superman's powers with batman's money/tech and *****.es without superman's weakness and batman's pedophelia for young wards.

[Ouker]

Granted, but you instead have a new weakness to ward off your power; you are horribly allergic to oxygen.

I wish for a 2-week timewarp forward.

[Revenant]

Granted, but during that time you decide kill yourself, causing you to wandering in limbo forevermore.

I wish for a refreshing beverage.

[Ouker]

Granted, but during that time you decide kill yourself, causing you to wandering in limbo forevermore.
The Cookie thread. :D


I wish for a refreshing beverage.

granted, but when you have to urinate, it burns like mexican habanero.

I wish for :scou:

[Revenant]

Granted, :scou: routs you and you die of shock and severe rainbow blood loss.

I wish for real mountain dew.

[Vexium]

Granted, you receive a canned soda carbonated entirely with dew from mountain greens. It tastes like bad carbonated water.

I wish for bananas.

[Ouker]

Granted, but they go on the wrong end. (No, not your mouth, your butt, your ear, your nose, your navel... Count what's left and SUFFER.)

I wish for Rof Hsiw I

[Vexium]

My eyes? Or... Ew.

Detnarg tub, but granted.

I wish potato salad was everything.

[Revenant]

Granted, you are now potato salad.

I wish for chocolate cake.

[Broodje]

Granted, it came with John McCain

I wish for better HoN stats.

[Vexium]

Granted, you now have better HoN stats... in casual mode public games.

I wish for carrots. An infinite supply.

[Broodje]

Granted, You're now a rabbit.

I wish for some pudding.

[Revenant]

Granted, you cut your stomach open to find 50 gallons of blood pudding bubbling inside.


I wish for peaches.

[Broodje]

Granted, you're now a peach tree.

I wish for battlefield 3 to come out and I will be able to play it.

[Muuchi]

Granted, but the campaign is bugged so that you'll never complete it, and you can't do Online games.

I wish to qualify for the State Track meet this weekend.

[Ouker]

Granted, but you forget to go there and get imba amounts of blame.

I wish for some... Pudding.

[Broodje]

Granted, you're now dead.

I wish for some... Pudding. I'm still alive.

[Ouker]

Granted, but you're pregnant and are about to give birth to an infant. Through your penis.
I wish for some... Pudding. I'm still alive. I have no problems with health or such.

[Broodje]

Granted, tho the pudding came with Hillary Clinton.

[Sheriff]

I wish for sex with Hilary Clinton after she woke up from a 2 hour nap she took becuase she was having sex with numerous men for hours

[Broodje]

Oh shoot, forgot to make a wish. I'm sorry

Granted, you now have chlamydia (or however you spell it)

I wish for having sex with obama after he returned from his journey from the Netherlands.

[Revenant]

Granted, but he's grumpy and doesn't like it.

I wish for some delicious gummy bears.

[Jublie]

Granted, but they are life-sized man eaters who find you more delicious.

I wish I received a $1000 bucks everytime a girl does not find me attracitve.

[Broodje]

Granted, you are now a gigolo. Though only ugly girls are interested :<.

I wish I would post a usefull post.

[Ouker]

granted, but you just did it, too bad, you had a chance.

I wish for better results in my exams.

[Broodje]

granted, you just passed your tying shoelaces exams.

I wish for a succesful career

[Revenant]

Granted, you have a successful career as a serial killer, although your 1st potential victim throws you off a bridge and you die.

I wish for a better computer mouse.

[Jublie]

OBJECTION!

How can you be a succesfull serial killer if you don't kill anyone before you die!

The defense would like to change the response to "you kill people by giving them your AIDS".

Granted, but its so high tech that computers won't be able to be compatible for another 50 years.

I wish I could fly, touch the sky, and dream about it every night and day, then spread my wings and fly away.

[Revenant]

Granted, you turn into a jet, bomb the Russians, and crash into the sun. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NisCkxU544c)

I wish for peppermint bark.

[Ouker]

granted, but it's actually just a dog barking with a peppermint odor.

I wish for Rebecca Black to infest the forums, for the purpose of trolling.

[Muuchi]

Granted, but she trolls you and only you.

I wish I didn't have to sit in this boring class right now!!!!!

[Broodje]

Granted, instead, balphagore is teaching you a lesson.

I wish I was going to lowlands (popfestival, holland). :<

[Revenant]

Granted, you are now 3000m below the Pacific Ocean...what, you wished for low land. Good luck.

I wish for the power to turn invisible at will with no negative effects whatsoever.

[JamLi]

You are invisible and there is no negative side effects whatsoever, but the military catches you with thermal vision and study you for the rest of your life.

I wish Pimp Slayer did bonus damage against all female characters.

[Ouker]

Granted, but after a few days, the Alt Avatar is removed due to unbalance between the Witch Slayer.

I wish for more alt avatars with a different voice.

[Loli]

Granted, but after a few days, the Alt Avatar is removed due to unbalance between the Witch Slayer.

I wish for more alt avatars with a different voice.

Granted, but all of them are voiced by the guy who did Gladiator.

[Sheriff]

Granted, but all of them are voiced by the guy who did Gladiator.


time to smack some witches

[Ouker]

I know what you wish for, and it's granted, but in this case you're :nymp:.

I wish for a thumbs up on Acrobat V2, along with a well criticized comment about how good/bad he is. )

[Loli]

Granted, but the thumbs up is from real-life and you'll never get to see the comment because I typed it in notepad then deleted it.

I wish more people knew what they were gonna do under the tower.

[Sheriff]

granted, they are all muslim and think you are gonna pray

I wish they would port naga siren

[Ouker]

granted, they ported the WC3 equivalent that deals 9-11 dmg each attack.

I wish more people would do it under the tower.

[Loli]

Granted.
Thats pretty twisted as is mang.

I wish the HoN engine wasn't coded so poorly that they couldn't port invoker.

[Ouker]

Granted, they code the HoN engine really well, but they still don't port invoker (I wish they did too)

I WAH! wish that *POMF* uhh nevermind.

[Blueflash]

I know exactly what you wished for and its granted, but u spend some years in a jail cell for some reason.

I wish i was Hinata(from angel beats!, i want YUI!!! >.<)

[Revenant]

Granted, but you are forced to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3ZsP3PGY0o&sns=em for the rest of your life (yeah I know this isn't Hinata, deal with it).

I wish for http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmcMG4uxiHk&sns=em

[Broodje]

Granted, You are now bound to do athletics for the rest of your life.

I wish for a better mic.

[Blueflash]

Granted, but you are forced to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3ZsP3PGY0o&sns=em for the rest of your life (yeah I know this isn't Hinata, deal with it).

I wish for http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmcMG4uxiHk&sns=em

Fate worse than death?

[JamLi]

Granted, now everyone is able to hear your voice clearly and make fun of how you sound.

I wish I could use thunderbringer's ult in real life.

[Ouker]

granted, but you will never ever have enough mana to use it.

I wish I was :scou:

[Muuchi]

Granted but you never silence and are too greedy and die constantly.

I wish for people to stop being bad as :scou:

[Ouker]

Granted, instead you get people who have full items at 30 mins but then start griefing for no reason. Or you play with me, which is a good thing.

I wish people would stop the hate on us good :scou:s.

[JamLi]

Granted, now Scout gets nerfed to the ground because people think Scout is too OP from how you good scout play him.

I wish I can make anyone laugh.

[Muuchi]

Granted, but everyone gets used to all your material and never show up to your stand-up specials.

I wish my laptop was fixed already.

[Qwernakus]

Granted. And its super awesome. Even better than before. In fact, its so good that it has gained sapience and proceeds to take over your house and makes your toaster into its own miniature warriors. It doesnt want to raise a toast.

I wish this wish cannot be twisted.

[Ouker]

Granted, but it has a twist to it anyway, you get NOTHING.

I wish that you'd make a wish for me, that would probably make me happy too.

[Qwernakus]

Granted, but I wish YOU make ME a wish.

I wish that this wish is not granted.

[JamLi]

So you die a horrible death instead.

I wish I was on a boat. ****ing a mermaid. Like a boss.

[Ouker]

Granted, but as mermaids are fish from boobs down, you are actually ****ing a fish. And your penis gets cut into pieces.

I wish that I wish for wishes wishing wishes on wished wishes.

[Thysios]

GrantedBump

But every wish is corrupted ;)

I wish I had a pet wold

[Blueflash]

I couldnt bother to google search what a "wold" is so i got with "world" , granted you are given your very own world with all the powers of a god, but eventually the creatures you govern forget about you and your powers wane until you simply cease to exist.

I wish to be 1600+ mmr s

[BlanketGhost]

Granted, but as soon as you gone over 1600 mmr. You got a streak of bad luck and it send you down that 900 mmr hellhole and you cannot climb up ever after (until you reset your stats)

I wish for myself to be a stronger person than I am now.

[Broodje]

Granted, but you now have a tiny penis.

I wish for chocolate.

[LonelyQueen]

Granted! your bear is made of chocolate
eat it!

i wish i get a pony irl